Chris Christie on Climate Change: 'I Can't Figure This Stuff Out'

Because he yells at unions a lot, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is considered a leading presidential candidate for the next 5-6 elections. So what does this jolly galoot think about, say, climate change? He loves all of the arguments!

Here's his response to this basic question about the validity of man-made climate change at a town hall yesterday. If you're going to run for president as a Republican nowadays, see, you need to say that these scientific theories are all bullshit hoaxes to enrich Al Gore, so he can get more handjobs at the massage parlor. And yet Christie's a governor in a theoretically blue state! So this is a good example of how competing political prerogatives manifest themselves in the form of rambling:

Mankind, is it responsible for global warming? Well I'll tell you something. I have seen evidence on both sides of it. I'm skeptical - I'm skeptical. And you know, I think at the at the end of this, I think we're going to need more science to prove something one way or the other. But you know - cause I've seen arguments on both sides of it that at times - like I'll watch something about man-made global warming, and I go wow, that's fairly convincing. And then I'll go out and watch the other side of the argument, and I go huh, that's fairly convincing too. So, I go to be honest with you, I don't know. And that's probably one of the reasons why I became a lawyer, and not a doctor, or an engineer, or a scientist, because I can't figure this stuff out.

Then he'll go and watch the Sportscenter program and you know what? These athletes are good, and compelling. But then during commercials he checks out the Dancing With The Stars and holy mama, these people! Is there anything better than dancing? So then he's thinking, "Hmm, Is dancing better than sports," right? Y'know? But he's just a lawyer, not an athlete or a dancer, so it's all Greek to him.

Feel free to use that script in your 2016 campaign ads, big man!

[via Daily Intel; photo via AP]