Angelina Jolie's Kid Is Growing Up Crazy, and Other Exaggerations

Shiloh Pitt may be the weirdest four-year-old you've ever heard about. Also today: sad news for Sarah Jessica Parker, happy news for Carrie Prejean and another religious nut, a tale of Johnny Depp's opulence, and the requisite Lohan update.

  • Angelina Jolie is raising a crazy kid! You know Shiloh, the weird girl weirdo who dresses in boy's clothes? Well, apparently she came in to the house recently holding some raggedy old dead bird and asked Angie if she could keep it! What a freakazoid that four-year-old child is! I never did anything weird when I was a four-year-old child. Sure I thought a creepy old farmer lived in the crawlspace between the ceiling and the roof and was convinced I possessed several magical powers, but that's just normal kid stuff. Wearing pants and having a short haircut and being interested in animals and curious about death? Send that kid to the nuthouse. Lost cause. Lost freakin' cause. [Us]

  • Beloved theologian and skilled masturbator Carrie Prejean has become pregnant! Yeah, she married this meatball and now they're going to have a beautiful, Biblically correct baby together. Of course the baby will technically be owned by Donald Trump, due to the nature of Prejean's pageant contract, but it's still a happy occasion. Happier than a gay wedding! [Us]

  • Speaking of perfect Christian babies! Josh Duggar, one of the 19 kids from 19 Kids and Counting, and his wife will welcome their second child next summer. Only 17 more to go, guys! Just keep that quiver full and go to town as often as possible and I'm sure you'll get there with ease. The big question now though is what they're going to name their new kid. Their year-old daughter is named Mackynzie, because of spelling, and everyone in Josh's family has a name that starts with a J, so will start their own similar tradition and go with another M name? Hard to say. If it is, I have three suggestions: Madysyn, Mighlee, or Murgatroyd. Mostly the last one. [People]

  • Sarah Jessica Parker was all upset last week when her friend Bonnie Takhar got fired from Halston, for which SJP is "creative director". She was apparently crying in the middle of the Soho offices and was somewhat inconsolable, until Robert Redford slowly walked up to her, said something softly in her ear, and she seemed to calm down. (I'm sorry. I know. We're done with these. But sometimes I can't help it.) [P6]

  • Uh oh. Fire-haired partydevil Lindsay Lohan has been hanging out with her dad a lot recently. Going to movies and letting him look inside her mouth (yup!) and stuff. What horrible thing could they possibly be planning? An acting team up called Wacky Wednesday in which they horrifyingly switch bodies for a day? I mean, I've always said Michael Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis have a lot in common. Mostly in the privates department. [TMZ]

  • Well, some say it's now official. Prince William and his ladyfriend Kate Middleton will be tying the knot sometime next year. So good for them. Get some good wedding photos in before all the hair goes. Meanwhile, Prince Harry has announced plans to "hopefully die from shagging" sometime next year. To which William replied "Yeah, well, at least I get to be king maybe someday." Causing Harry to respond, "Can't hear you, as I'm currently ears-deep in it, brother." Harry won that fight. [Us]

  • Apparently Johnny Depp has a trailer on the Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Money Never Sleeps set that's worth a whopping $1M. That's more than most people make in a year! The theme of the trailer is evidently "upscale Moroccan bordello," which I guess is a thing? Frankly, I don't know that I could pick out an upscale Moroccan bordello in a lineup of other upscale North African bordellos, but I'm not a travel-seasoned, cultured movie star. Plus, the inside of Johnny Depp's head probably looks like an upscale Moroccan bordello, so he knows 'em when he seems 'em. [Showbiz Spy]
[Photo via Getty]