This was your weekend to let her know you love her, and you chose not to, America. You chose not to. Instead you went to the cartoon movie and the one about a murder train.
1) Megamind — $30M
A little known bit of trivia about this movie. Its original title wasn't Megamind. It was Megabrain. Basically DreamWorks' idea was that after learning How to Train Your Dragon last year, you'd probably have graduated to wanting Megabrain. "Yo, I'm sick of training my dragon. I want some mega brain!" That kind of thing. ANYWAY. This movie is riding high right now, but in five days' time, a little British teenager is going to come along and ruin all its fun. No, I'm not talking about a teenager in the British labor union movie Made in Dagenham. Of course I refer to Harry Potter, which begins its two-part goodbye on Friday. Those kids have already been tearing it up overseas, going to premieres and likely getting mega brain, and soon they'll be on our shores, casting any other kids movies into the darkness for a while, leaving them to sit pouting in the lonely shadows, feverishly training their own dragons.
2) Unstoppable — $23.5M
I like that this movie got good reviews. And I like that there's no villain. I mean, there is a villain, it's the runaway train, but there's no human villain. It's just a classic story of two men vs. train. A tale as old as time. Since we first discovered trains two hundred years ago or whenever, man has been in constant battle with them, possessed of an insatiable need to either harness their immense power, or kill them. Of course trains have rebelled, occasionally in murderous fashion, but mostly by making us get to Boston a half hour late so our dad is waiting in the car for a while and has to circle around Back Bay Station like ten times and we feel bad. It's a never-ending war between two titans, man and train. And here, finally, is a movie about that most basic and pure of conflicts. None of this nonsense with celebrated playwright Eric Bogosian terrorizing a train full of people like Katherine Heigl only to be thwarted by Steven Seagal. (Though, the train does blow up in the end of that one, so it does get its due.) None of these stuffy Belgians solving mysteries as the train, unmolested, rumbles West from Istanbul. Nope. This here is just bare bones Man v. Train. Just the way it should, and always will, be.
3) Due Date — $15.5M
While not exactly the Hangover-sized buzzmachine that was perhaps hoped for, this comedy is performing well enough. It'll make back its $65M budget at least. But that's about it. I guess lightning doesn't strike twice even if you desperately try to make it, with the same director and actor and everything. The one thing they forgot to repeat, I guess, was the funny jokes part.
4) Skyline — $11.7M
So apparently this movie, which barely cost any money to make, earned a D- in audience exit polling, which is, y'know, pretty bad. I wonder why it is so bad! Now I'm really curious. I know that sort of thing is supposed to deter me from seeing the movie, but it really just makes me want to find out what could possibly be that bad. I mean, I know it's not the work of celebrated chameleon Eric Balfour. That can't be it. It must have something to do with everything else about the movie. That's probably it. So.... See you on Netflix instant watch in a year probably, Skyline. Then we'll get to the root of your problems. Until then, stay strong Balfour.
5) Morning Glory — $9.6M
Guys, what is wrong with you? Why did more of you not see this movie this weekend? OK, I didn't see it either, but I'm just one person. You're all of you! And this movie should have done way better than fifth place. I mean it had it all: plotline about cool job that most of us will never have, sunny leading lady who everyone likes, old timers doing silly things, Patrick Wilson, and an upbeat inspirational Natasha Bedingfield song. What better cure for a dreary November weekend than that gift basket of likable things? I really thought this was going to be number two or maybe even number one this weekend. Shows what I know. Here it is, muddling along in fifth place, behind Eric Balfour's Skyline for god's sakes. I misjudged you America. I thought you better than this. I guess I thought wrong. This Thanksgiving, I'm just not sure I'll have much to be thankful for.