The Way We Live Now: with strength through weakness. Our weak dollar will give us all jobs again. Our failed corporations will lay a foundation for our happy retirements. Our CEOs all deserve raises. That's The Secret. Success through projection!
Will the weak and worthless US dollar be just the thing to cure our nation's widespread unemployment? No, why would you even suggest that. Well—let me amend that statement. Yes. Yes it will be the thing. There.
Problem solving skills are absolutely crucial in this new economy. Are you a retiree who put in 40 years with GM only to see your pension erased as the company crumbled? When you apply our new problem-solving paradigm to the situation, it becomes clear that what you old folks need to do is to sink the remainder of your life savings back into the new GM stock.
All better, now. We are certainly triumphing now! As America's financial outlook embrightens, it's unsurprising that our most fairly compensated CEOs are those who led their shareholders to success, and took millions for it. A rising tide lifts all yachts!
With its success, America can change the world. Those CEOs can give some great, great microloans to cholera-plagued Haitians for just a few thousand bucks, and feel absolutely wonderful. Then they can invest a few million in lawsuits against rival companies, and reap the rewards. Everyone wins, particularly us, the winners.