The End of Four Loko Is NighS

After a fun campaign of widespread panic resulting in four state bans and an irresistible opportunity for political grandstanding, it looks like the FDA is set to ban caffeinated alcohol drinks once and for all—everywhere in America.

If you're not drinking as much Four Loko as you can every minute of every day, right now, you're missing your last chance.

The FDA ruling, which could come as soon as this week, "should be the nail in the coffin of these dangerous and toxic drinks," Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., who has pushed the Obama administration to ban the beverages, said Tuesday.

HAIKU FOR FOUR LOKO

Farewell, hyper booze
Back to Mountain Dew and gin
In a Solo cup.

[Photo: Noah Jacquemin]