A new government report reveals that agents responsible for driving nuclear weapons around have been written up for 16 alcohol-related "incidents" between 2007 and 2009. Got a problem with that? Fine, you drive the nukes and try keeping sane.
The tragicomic news was found in a Department of Energy inspector general's report on the Office of Secure Transportation's 600 agents who move our nukes from site to site, to elude the terrorists and such. Of those 600, two, especially, know how to party:
The report said that two incidents in particular raised red flags because they happened during "secure transportation missions" while agents checked into local hotels during extended missions, and the vehicles were placed in "safe harbor."
One of those occurred in 2007, when an agent was arrested for public intoxication; the other happened last year, when police handcuffed and temporarily detained two agents after an incident at a local bar.
Oh god, were they trying out their "Hey baby I got some nukes in my car, wanna see" pick-up lines and didn't know when to stop? This must be what happened. And that's fine.
