Today we looked at a crusty old man who is scared that leering gay men will ruin troop readiness. Y'know, because it'll make them all uncomfortable-like! This sentiment stirred up a lovely rant by one of our own commenters.
Dear Maj. Homophobe:
You are a huge pussy. And a drippy, sniveling, weak-ass pussy at that.
You know how I can tell? Because I actually have a pussy. And big, bouncing titties and a nice round ass and a pair of legs that men young and old have begged to have wrapped around their heads. And you know what?
I STILL MANAGE TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.
That's right, somehow, unbelievably, I'm able to focus on the task at hand even while my boss, various co-workers, the mail room staff and the security guards are barely concealing the fact that they're picturing me with my clothes off. I ride the subway to work every day despite the imminent danger of having strange penises poked into my back. I take stairs and elevators to and from my office knowing full well that at any given time the guys behind me are staring at my ass and maybe even scheming as to how they might touch it. So does almost every working woman on the planet.
Man up, soldier. You really think the first thing on your bunkmate's mind in the morning is trying to get in your pants and not say...living through the day? I mean, have you ever seen what's on offer in your average gay club? Bitch please. You wish someone wanted your ass that bad.
And even if it was true, even if every homo in the entire United States Armed Forces wanted your ass so bad that they sat around telling jokes about how sweet it would look bent over a Hummer (Hummer? Yeah I could use one of those too!) it would be no worse than what most women go through at work on any given day so STFU, quit bitching and get to your post.
Otherwise why don't you bring your candy ass home and see if my desk job is more your speed?