Terrorists Win As Arbitrary Fearmongering Color Chart Nears Its End

The Department of Homeland Security says that after eight years of noble service, it may scrap the color-coded "terrorist threat levels" that have kept Americans—literate or not—ever-aware of whether we should be scared, or super scared.

Travelers had complained about the five-tiered system, which was never lowered to green or blue, the bottom two levels. In its eight years, it has fluctuated between yellow for "elevated" and orange for "high," once reaching red for "severe" in August 2006.

The threat color hasn't changed in four years. Well that would be terrible for anyone's image. Perhaps America just needs a terror color makeover? What about mauve?