Angelina Jolie Thinks Your Thanksgiving Celebration Is DisgustingS

Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

  • Angelina Jolie thinks that Thanksgiving is a holiday about murder and she refuses to celebrate it. A friend of hers says, "To celebrate what the white settlers did to the native Indians, the domination of one culture over another, just isn't her style." No, it's not. Actually she thinks that the pilgrims should have adopted each and every one of the Indians and saved them from their filthy life and raised them in opulence. That's much more her style. I am thankful to be Team Aniston. [Popeater]

  • Lindsay Lohan got a one-day pass from the Betty Ford clinic so that she could go spend Thanksgiving with—her father! Yes, her absolute mess of a famewhore father Michael Lohan is once again beating "white Oprah" Dina Lohan for possession of little Lindsay's money-making soul. I am thankful that Lindsay Lohan still hasn't learned to make good decisions. [TMZ]

  • What are all the other celebrities doing for Thanksgiving? Michael Douglas, his child bride, and their family are in Disney World. Blake Lively is mumbling while cooking a 12-course meal. Always the over achiever that one. Nate Berkus is going to Mexico City with his boyfriend. Katy Perry says that she is "gonna get stuffed," which is either a dirty joke about her husband Russell Brand or she thinks she's a turkey. Tiger Woods' main mistress Rachel Uchitel is celebrating one year in the spotlight by going into the wilderness to be alone (and telling the press about it first). The stars of The Deadliest Catch are having a memorial service for dead captain, Phil Harris. That's sweet. Jessica Simpson is going to become a vegan this Thanksgiving, which is just the most recent in a life-long string of stupid decisions. I am thankful I won't be spending it with any of them. [Radar Online, Us Weekly, TMZ, TMZ, NYDN]

  • Alex Rodriguez, the most well-hung Yankee is back together with his actress girlfriend Cameron Diaz. Did they even break up? I am thankful that I don't really care about either of them. [P6]

  • Wesley Snipes is trying to remain free on bail while his attorneys appeal his convictions for tax evasions. A federal judge ordered that he surrender himself to authorities to start serving his three year sentence, but that hasn't happened yet. His attorneys said in their suit, "His ongoing and successful projects in the movie industry further ensure he would not consider fleeing." Um, which "ongoing and successful projects" are these? Is he huge in Germany like David Hasselhoff and we just don't know it? Anyway, prosecutors have until Tuesday to respond to this motion, so he gets to at least spend Thanksgiving at home. I am thankful I haven't watched a Wesley Snipes project in many years, but that Blade might be on TBS at any minute. [NYDN]

  • Taking advantage of the Thanksgiving news lull, barely famous reality dud and melted Barbie doll Heidi Montag has released emails between herself and her plastic surgeon, the late Dr. Frank Ryan, to try to prove that he pushed her to have more plastic surgery than she needed and to prove that he was trying to capitalize on her fame. Duh, Heidi! Do you think we all didn't know that already? I am thankful that I continue to not be Heidi Montag. [RadarOnline]

  • Don't sing a song for the piano man, but send him a get well card. Billy Joel is recovering in the hospital from a double hip replacement surgery he had last week. Wow, he's like the Six Million Dollar Man so now he'll have all sorts of bionic power when he sits on piano bench and crash his car into things. I am thankful that Liza Minnelli made double hip replacements hip. [P6]

  • At a recent discussion of his life and work, legendary Broadway composer Steven Sondheim was asked about the lyrics for his song "Rose's Turn" being changed for an episode of Glee where it was sung by saintly gay character Babygay Kurt. Sondheim replied, ""I've seen it sung completely out of context in productions of Gypsy!" He could have been a lot meaner. We guess this means Sondheim loves Glee. I am thankful to be gay and care about this item deeply. [P6]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin]