Angeles Duran, a 49-year-old Spanish woman, has claimed ownership of the sun. You know, the sun? In the sky? The bright one? Yeah, she wants to start charging for its use.
What does this mean for you? Most likely, you will pay for a monthly "sun plan," and choose between "unlimited" and "restricted" sun use. If you are on a "restricted" plan, and go over your monthly budget of sun use, you'll likely be charged high rates for your overage. Ha! Totally kidding! You won't be able to afford the sun! Better buy yourself one of those lamps, right now.
See, Duran has a notarized document declaring herself—according to the AFP—"owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000 kilometres."
Her claim is that while there is a collective agreement among nation-states that no country can claim a planet, there's no such law against individuals doing so. (Someone has been reading her Ayn Rand!) Speaking as an expert in interplanetary law, I can say with utter confidence that this is an airtight argument likely to hold up in any court. But don't feel too bad! She's only keeping 10 percent for herself, and donating the bulk to the Spanish government and the country's beleaguered pension fund.