Spears Family Spends Thanksgiving Weekend in Sonic's Drive-Thru

Britney and Jamie Lynn give thanks for french fries. "Kim Kardashian is dead," but it's only a publicity stunt. Portia de Rossi walks all over Ricky Martin. Monday gossip is sick of leftover turkey.

  • Time to fire up the ol' condescending tabloid headline machine: Britney Spears ate french fries in public! Is Britney substituting trans fats for self-esteem? Brit and boyfriend Jason Trawick spent Thanksgiving with the Spearses in Kentwood, Louisiana, where Brit and sister Jamie Lynn partook in the delights of Sonic's drive-thru on Sunday, although at different times and with different people. (And who can blame them? By Sunday you're so sick of leftover turkey, anyway.) You heard it here first: Sonic's drive-thru is the hottest spot in Kentwood, Louisiana. Anyway, here's a picture of Britney dragging Jayden James to Louisiana. See Brit and Jamie shoveling Sonic burgers here and here. [JJ, DailyMail, image via Bauer-Griffin]

  • 48-year-old Kelly Preston gave birth to Scientology miracle baby Benjamin. No word whether it was a silent birth, but since John Travolta was forced to take a whole day off from his rigorous routine of gay bathhouse bacchanaliae, you know it was momentous. [Popeater]

  • Pax Jolie-Pitt celebrated his seventh birthday on a boat in the Seine River. It was classier than your birthday party, and the guest list was hotter, too, if only because assembling the collective Jolie-Pitts is the celebrity equivalent of Captain Planet calling together the Planeteers. Pax played with balloons, Shiloh wielded glowsticks, and Knox and Vivienne napped. [Us, JJ]

  • Spears Family Spends Thanksgiving Weekend in Sonic's Drive-ThruAlicia Keys's AIDS charity killed Kim Kardashian by depriving her of Twitter. It's part of some "digital death" publicity stunt that will eventually turn into money for HIV-afflicted families in Africa and India. Conveniently, it requires Kim to display her cleavage in a skin-tight sequined gown, so she will still get enough limelight to keep her attention leaflets robust. [NYT, DailyMail]

  • Gay book battle royale! Newly minted memoirist Portia de Rossi is obsessed with outselling singing human gyroscope and fellow memoirist Ricky Martin. Both wrote books about their lives in the closet, but Portia also wrote about being anorexic, so she wins the memoir martyr-off, and is currently five spots ahead on the NYT bestseller list. [P6]

  • Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston cavorted in bikinis this week, the former with boyfriend Alex Rodriguez and the latter with gal pal Chelsea Handler. Both looked freakishly hot. One of them even bent over! Happy day, manna from the tabloid heavens, we are all sinners dangling over a pit of poon-obsessed paparazzi hell, etc. [Popeater, BauerGriffin, Bauer-Griffin]

  • Every celebrity baby who was any celebrity baby was at Yo Gabba Gabba! Live! this weekend. The offspring of Jessica Alba, Gwen Stefani, and Rebecca Romijn looked on as Cool Mom Nicole Richie joined the band of anthropomorphized color-coded blobs (monsters?) on stage. [DailyMail]

  • Speaking of Gwen Stefani's son, Kingston Rossdale was recently spotted with a rainbow's array of nail polish colors on his cuticles. Cue Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's "cross-dressing" critics. [DailyMail]

  • Spears Family Spends Thanksgiving Weekend in Sonic's Drive-ThruThe fifth Kardashian sister, 13-year-old half-sister Kylie Jenner, has joined the family business of posing with parted lips in front of cameras. Fourth Kardashian Kendall Jenner joined at age 14 with a salt-licked bikini shoot that freaked everyone out. [KimKardashian]

  • The most mommy issue addled woman in America—Alexis Stewart, daughter of Martha—is ready to have a baby. Alexis, who made a career out of airing the Stewart family's dirty laundry, is using a surrogate because "a child is your legacy" and "my mom's just desperate." No pressure, little embryo-to-be! [P6]