Anderson Cooper's Gonna Do It To You in the AfternoonS

Every day, girl. Love in the afternoon every day. Well, five days a week at least. Also today: Dr. Drew continues to be employed, the always welcome Angela Bassett lands a role, and Jim Belushi is doing just fine.

News news! Sex patronus Anderson Cooper will be doing his own syndicated talk show starting next falls. Yes! "Anderson Cooper will create a daily destination for multiple generations of women looking to be informed and entertained, gain perspective, have a voice and stay connected to each other and the world around them." Haha. I like that they're just saying upfront that A) Only women (and demographically useless fags) enjoy Anderson Cooper and B) Only women are home during the day to watch daytime TV talk shows. America hasn't changed that much, guys. Really not that much. [Deadline]

More news news! Detestable silver quack Dr. Drew is getting his own show on Headline News, the prestigious CNN-owned quickie news network that employs or has employed a wide variety of public intellectuals, from Joy Behar to Glenn Beck. Good company, Dr. Drew. Hopefully his show will just be him speculating dumbly for an hour about what the diseased starlet of the week has to do to change her life, because everyone asked him. Everyone asked him, right? [Variety]

Ha. This is old but weird. Rumple-actor Mark Ruffalo — best known for being rumpled in You Can Count On Me, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Kids Are All Right, and for being distressingly unrumpled in Collateral — has been put on a terror watchlist by the state of Pennsylvania. Yup! He was helping to promote a documentary called Gasland, about the dangers of natural gas drilling, and Pennsylvania's Homeland Security bureau decided this was shifty behavior, so they put him in their terror advisory. Good work, Pennsylvania! I feel so much safer now. [THR] But, oops! Pennsylvania, probably embarrassed, denies they did it.

Angela Bassett, she who shoulda been a big big star, if only she didn't have that pesky tan, has landed a role in the next McG film. Sigh. She'll be playing the CIA boss of two spies (Chris Pine and Tom Hardy) who wage war on each other (the movie is called This Means War) over the same girl (Reese Witherspoon). Bassett's character is apparently something of a loveless loner, so look for her to hook up in a little thrown-in bit at the end. But, more importantly? Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are going to be fighting each other? Reese, girl. Get on your knees and thank the angels in heaven for the luck that's been bestowed upon you in this cruel, cruel world. I hope you're not taking that shit for granted. (Though, duh, Tom Hardy wins every time. His tom's all hard-y. GROSS.) [Variety]

Acting dynamos Eva Longoria Parker (Desperate Housewives) and Kathryn Morris (Cold Case) are teaming up to make a new show for ABC. No, they're not starring in it, they're producing it. Yeah! Ladies are producing TV shows now! But only if they can get back home in time for Anderson's Cuddle Party. This ain't your grandfather's Hollywood! Anyway, the show is about a Texas border town and a Mexican border town, each ruled by powerful families who war with each other. It's called "Shakespearean", so you know there will be two hotties from the rival families who start boning it in the Rio Grande at night. This is good. I mean, shows about powerful Texas families have been doing so well lately. [Deadline]

Hah, this is funny. "Jim Belushi Feels at Home on Defenders Set." Because it's the same place he shot According to Jim. That's ol' Jim Belushi for ya, just floatin' along. Why change studios? Seems like a waste of time. "Hey... this looks familiar.... Oh for crap's sake! It's the ol' Jim set. That's just great. Anyone want a nacho? I got a whole bunch here, I'm not gonna eat 'em all. Aw, who'm I kiddin'? I'll eat 'em all. I will. I'll eat the nachos. Yeah. Say, this is gonna be fun, huh? It's the ol' Jim set! You guys ever watch that show? Jerry? You and Rebecca ever watch Jim? Yeah, we did what we could with it. We did what we could. Anyhoo, I'm gonna go take these nachos somewhere private. You all enjoy yourselves. Later, gators." That's Jim, for ya! [Variety]