Iran Calls Wikileaks Dump... an American Plot!S

Some of the cables in Wikileaks' latest document dump showed Middle Eastern allies — Saudi Arabia, for example — pushing for an American military attack on Iran. And that's all Iran needs to spin this leak into a U.S. "plot."

Whether you are for or against a U.S bombing of Iran — a.k.a. starting World War III — the Wikileaks dump does not magically reveal for the first time the idea that other Arab states are concerned about the country's intentions. An Iranian nuclear umbrella could draw other states into its realm of influence, or spark a regional arms race. Then again, maybe this won't happen. And besides, those countries are all the way over there, in the sand.

Still, Iran insists that this cannot be the case. All Arab and Persian countries are "friends." Julian Assange must be George W. Bush in a mask:

The documents seemed to show several Arab nations, notably Saudi Arabia, Iran's rival for influence in the Persian Gulf, displaying such hostility that King Abdullah repeatedly implored Washington to "cut off the head of the snake" while there was still time.

Nonetheless, Mr. Ahmadinejad said at a news conference on Monday that Iran's relations with its neighbors would not be damaged by the reports.

"Regional countries are all friends with each other. Such mischief will have no impact on the relations of countries," he said, according to Reuters.

"Some part of the American government produced these documents," he said. "We don't think this information was leaked. We think it was organized to be released on a regular basis and they are pursuing political goals."

If the American government had officially decided to bomb Iran, it wouldn't need to use an albino sex-muppet like Julian Assange as a vehicle to secretly "sell" its case to anyone. It would just do whatever the hell it wanted, as always, and have some poor farmer pick up the uranium-soaked scraps later.

Which it will probably do, say, tomorrow. After all, The Dean of Washington Punditry, David Broder, says that this — starting World War III — would be a great way for Obama to boost his poll numbers before the 2012 election!

[Image of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad via AP]