Save the Date: Jesus Is Coming in May!

This time, it's really happening. On May 21 of next year, Jesus Christ shall swoop down from the heavens on a white steed to snatch up all True Believers. That's right — the Rapture is coming! Where do you stand?

People have claimed for centuries that they know when the Rapture is coming, but this time, someone's finally got it right. They even have billboards and bumper stickers to prove it! The billboards are produced by supporters of a Christian network called Family Radio Inc., and they've set up a website to spread the Good Word, WeCanKnow.com. The site serves as a one stop shop for all your proselytizing needs. You can download images to use as billboards, order bumper stickers, and download e-versions of the Bible (perfect for an iPod touch or iPad!). There are 40 billboards in the Nashville, Tennessee area already.

But how do they really know? Because Family Radio's founder, Harold Camping, says so. From The Tennessean:

According to Camping's prediction, the Rapture will happen exactly 7,000 years from the date that God first warned people about the flood. He said the flood happened in 4990 B.C., on what would have been May 21 in the modern calendar. God gave Noah one week of warning.

Since one day equals 1,000 years for God, that means there was a 7,000-year interval between the flood and rapture.

Whoa. So, like, in God Years, that means I'm how old? Oh Jesus. I need a drink.

Oh, and just in case you're feeling the urge to scare the crap out of your kids, here's a cartoon from the group with weird Pokémon-ish characters speaking like robots:

And here, we leave you with a passage from the Good Book to mull over:

Revelation 14:14

And I looked, and behold a white cloud, and upon the cloud one sat like unto the Son of man, having on his head a golden crown, and in his hand a sharp sickle.'

May 21, 2011— See you there!

Save the Date: Jesus Is Coming in May!

Save the Date: Jesus Is Coming in May!