When last we left our Money Lovers, the cast was down to Punisher, Brittanya, Mindy, Hot Wings, Brooklyn, and 6-Gauge. After a well-timed Thanksgiving-Eve episode spent gorging and spewing, last night's finale made one lucky contestant $250,000 richer.
We've got a lot of ground to cover here, so let's hit this "Gashlycrumb" style and examine the demise of each of the remaining deviants:
First, our beloved Brittanya fell victim to bad case of... of... is there a medical term for filling one's body with so much silicone that there isn't much room left for food? No? Well, at the very least, it's a serendipitous way to maintain one's stripperlicious physique. This challenge gave each participant 20 minutes to pack on as much weight as possible via a cornucopia buffet, and Brittanya just couldn't handle it:
Next fell 6-Gauge, whose physical strength Punisher deemed to be too much of an advantage for in the physical challenge the contestants expected to face at the competition's conclusion. What a perfect excuse to feature another example of Punisher's cold-hearted villainy:
We have reality television to thank for turning the phrase "Karma's a bitch" into a cliche, so it's fitting that Punisher himself was finally ousted from his cocky roost when "what goes around" decided to come back around. Check out the excellent, revealing shot of Punisher at long range, standing alone with no alliance to save him:
After Punisher's elimination, the final three contestants competed against each other in a race centered around three challenges. Bad luck in the Three Card Monty-esque first leg doomed Hot Wings, as Brooklyn and Mindy both guessed correctly on their first attempts, while Hot Wings had to endure two buckets of marination:
In the second leg of the race, Brooklyn's taste buds failed him, and he was unable to identify the component ingredients of a disgusting blue cocktail:
Which leaves us with Mindy, the plucky runner-up from Bret Michaels's third season of Rock of Love. Although she won no challenges on I Love Money and found herself in the bottom three almost every week, she somehow managed to survive.
The producers designed the perfect final challenge to test the mettle of their show's rabid pack of fame whores: a giant puzzle depicting each contestant's own blown-up face. Mindy took advantage of the lead granted by the other racers' mishaps and assembled her exaggerated image in a flash:
And that, as they say, is that. In case you missed what Mindy's been up to since her time on I Love Money and Rock of Love Bus, be sure to check out a repeat of the "Rock of Love Girls: Where Are They Now?" special.
Who knows what the future holds for this franchise? Little has been said on the matter by either VH1 or 51 Minds... the only people talking about an "I Love Money 5" appear to be its fans and its prospective money-hungry contestants. All Gawker.TV can promise is to bring you the latest news as soon as we hear it. Stay tuned!