We'll Do Whatever's Necessary to Profit From This Emergency

The Way We Live Now: taking emergency measures. We know some of you business types are doing well; you'll be happy to learn that we're taking emergency measures on your behalf anyhow. Unfortunately, the unfortunate will have to be jettisoned.

Do you know just how many emergency measure the government has already undertaken on your behalf? Read and be amazed. Your respect for your government is only growing. Who else will save you? Private charity? The charity people are pulling out of Greenwich Village, just because everyone there is wealthy.

Details like that have never stopped the government. We'll see your existing ample wealth, and we'll raise you a welcome but unnecessary tax cut. Even if you did make a billion dollars on Monday! And then we'll still try to block unemployment benefits for the poor and desperate, just to sweeten the deal!

Act now and we'll lower your corporate taxes, too!

It is an emergency, after all. A survival situation. If the poors are going to steal millions from hospitals and get tax refunds while in prison, well, we'll show them. The rich can do much worse than that. Drastic times. Drastic measures. Drastic savings! [Pic via]