Christina Hendricks Wants a Banana in Her Stocking, and Other Yuletide EntendresS

Christina Hendricks' Christmas tradition is destined for raunchy jokes. Chelsea Handler called Angelina the c-word. Michelle Williams gained 15 pounds for a role, and reveals her un-diet secrets. (Ice cream.) Monday gossip slips a sable under the tree.

  • Christina Hendricks Wants a Banana in Her Stocking, and Other Yuletide EntendresSChristina Hendricks, a preternaturally beautiful woman destined to sing-whisper "Santa Baby" at least once this month, specializes in yuletide double entendre: "My family always does a banana with your name on it in your stocking. You carve [the name] in really lightly with a pencil, and a couple hours later it's nice and black. It sounds so gross but I promise it's really cute!" I have a feeling her goofy dad is behind this. In other news, here's a picture of Christina cradling a puppy against her breast. [People, top image via Bauer-Griffin, puppy boob via Getty]

  • Amid an allegedly fabricated domestic violence scandal, Britney Spears celebrated her 29th birthday with supposed abuser Jason Trawick in Puerto Vallarta. Not that they can escape the paparazzi panopticon there, either. To quote from venerated Britney album Blackout: "Don' matter if I step on the scene / Or sneak away to the Philippines / They still gon' put pictures / Of my derriere in the magazines." [People, TMZ]

  • Willie Nelson successfully evaded a felony charge for marijuana possession. Still got it! [Popeater]

  • Last living member of Team Aniston Chelsea Handler called Angelina Jolie a "fucking cunt," "fucking bitch," and "homewrecker" during a stand-up routine. BFF Jennifer Aniston thanked her by keening, beating her breasts, and writing a new will where she leaves a lock of Brad's hair to Chelsea, and the rest of her worldly possessions to a tabby cat. [Popeater]
  • Michelle Williams gained 15 pounds for Blue Valentine, a movie in which her character gets fat while her life falls apart. (That movie is going to be depressingly realistic, isn't it?) She did it by eating ice cream and avocadoes. [DailyMail]

  • On Inside the Actors Studio, James Franco said he spent his impoverished artist years working the drive-thru window at McDonald's, where he "would practice accents." Of course he was that kid. [P6]

  • Now that Kate Middleton is destined to be queen, everyone who ever met her is digging through their photo albums for something embarrassing to sell. Here she is wearing bunny ears. The Daily Mail is trying to bill it as a Playboy moment, but their picture cuts off at the neck, and everyone says she was wearing normal clothes, anyway. [DailyMail]

  • Willow Smith, a 10-year-old robot child who is cooler than you are, will perform at Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. Shouldn't that be past her bedtime? [People]

  • Josh Duhamel on the epic diva meltdown that got him kicked off an airplane: "Lesson learned." Next time he wants some negative attention, he'll go back to denying stories about sleeping with strippers. [Us]

  • Amber Heard, a hot blonde who was in Pineapple Express, came out as a lesbian and introduced the world to her girlfriend. Mazel tov, and welcome out. [AfterEllen]