Karen Lueders of Sheboygan, Wisc., has been charged with "felony mayhem." What counts as mayhem in Sheboygan? How about biting your husband's tongue off when he tries to kiss you goodnight?
That's what Lueders did to her husband, Willard, on Monday night. But it's weirder than you think, even! See, Lueders was apparently on the toilet when Willard went to kiss her. (Weird!) When he went in for the kill, she apparently entered a "manic state," biting his tongue off and grabbing his junk.
When police arrived at the scene, Lueders was singing Christmas carols outside and carring a "New Year's horn." If that didn't convince police she was nuts, the fact that she simply blew the horn in their ear and threw coffee on them when they asked her what was wrong probably sealed the deal. They found Willard inside, and sent him, and his severed tongue, to the hospital in the hopes it could be fixed (no word on that front yet).
And if you're not convinced she's crazy? From the Sheboygan Press:
Karen Lueders did not speak during the court appearance, but she leaned over to a reporter as she was escorted out in handcuffs, saying, "I love you, it's too bad you don't listen." While leaving the courtroom she continued in the same singsong voice, saying, "I love you. Karen Lueders."
And, so, husbands and boyfriends, I suggest you not try to kiss your significant others while they're on the toilet. Unless you think you can handle it.