The Case of the Fashionistas and the Used Tampons

Multi-billion dollar fashion conglomerate Jones Apparel Group has a serious sicko on staff. Apparently someone keeps leaving used tampons in the office hallway and it's become such a problem that a top exec is sending out company-wide emails about it.

Below is an email that went out from Jack Gross, the ironically named CEO of Jones Jeanswear Division. He's in charge of the company's dozen denim brands—Gloria Vanderbilt, L.E.I., Glo, Nine West, Jessica Simpson, and several others including Energie, the division where the offensive female sanitary devices have been repeatedly left in public spaces.

From: Jack Gross
Sent: Friday, December 03, 2010 1:54 PM
To: #Jones Jeanswear NY
Subject:
Importance: High

It has been brought to my attention today that recently there have been numerous incidents of used feminine hygiene products being found in the hallways throughout the Energie office space and it appears that these were left intentionally.

Let me be perfectly clear, this behavior is unprofessional, unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

We will be conducting a full investigation to resolve this matter as quickly as possible. We are taking this matter very seriously and will take the appropriate disciplinary action upon completion of our investigation. If you have any information regarding these incidents I urge you to come forward to myself or Human Resources.

Jack

A full investigation, huh? Is there going to be DNA testing? Has CSI been called? No matter what, we imagine this classifies as a code red.