Christina Aguilera: Yes, Those Are My Sexy Naked PicturesS

Christina Aguilera says she fell prey to a nefarious computer hacker. Blake Lively and Ryan Gosling seem to be dating. Michael Lohan makes a video of himself getting Botox, because, why not? Thursday gossip has a complicated relationship with fame.

  • Christina Aguilera confirmed and released a statement about her naked sexy picture scandal (NSFW here) which just happens to coincide with her sexy naked moving picture Burlesque, descent from the A-list, and post-divorce rumspringa. Aguilera's publicist says a nefarious computer hacker stole the pictures, which were "taken in the privacy of Ms. Aguilera's home and were used only in a personal exchange between the star and her stylist." Has the world no respect for the sacred bond between a star and her stylist? It's the priest-penitent relationship for celebrity idolators. Apparently the pictures are from April 2010, around the time Xtina shot her catastrophic Not Myself Tonight video. Christina's publicist says the nefarious hacker will be punished. [TMZ, People, NSFW Fleshbot, image via Getty]

  • Christina Aguilera: Yes, Those Are My Sexy Naked PicturesMeanwhile, this picture supposedly depicts a scar from Christina's purported "transaxillary endoscopic breast augmentation," i.e., "when the doctor shoves a whole new boob in through a tiny slice in your armpit." [DailyMail, image via Getty]

  • Blake Lively and Ryan Gosling, which is notable because Blake confirmed her split from costar Penn Badgley after being confronted about an "undercover" outing to Disneyland with Ryan, which was itself a bizarre event, because going to Disneyland is probably the worst place for a celebrity to go on an undercover date, right after Hollywood Boulevard and the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square, right? [E!]

  • Stephen Colbert on his college years: "I had a chest like a baby duck." [Northwestern via Atlantic]

  • Christina Aguilera: Yes, Those Are My Sexy Naked PicturesTaylor Swift's first Cover Girl ad is out, featuring a boatload of smize. Does this mean Taylor's going to make a cameo on America's Next Top Model, which offers a Cover Girl contract as its grand prize? Yes, that's a good rumor, let's start it: Taylor is totally making a cameo on the next season of ANTM, start wetting your nude-hued seamless model panties now, children. [People]

  • An excerpt from Gwyneth Paltrow's latest GOOP newsletter: "I don't know how it is where all of you are, but I am freezing my ass off. I will be relying heavily on my cozy winter boots to get me through to spring, however far off it may seem. Here are some of my favorites. Love, gp" Love you and your toasty toes, too, Goopy-Poo! [HuffPo]

  • Jenny McCarthy and her bodybuilder boyfriend broke up, but "remain good friends." Please. You don't rebound from your marriage with a bodybuilder just to be friends. [Us]

  • "Jessica Simpson, Eric Johnson Will 'Definitely' Have a Prenup." Allow me to snort like an indignant 14-year-old girl whose mother just asked if she knows what a condom is: NO DUH, why would you even SAY that, what do you THINK I am, DUMB? Eric says he is "not a gold digger." [Us]

  • Angelina Jolie has "no plans at the moment" to make or adopt new babies, "but we're always open." [Us]

  • Michael Lohan and Kate Major brought TV cameras to film a Botox shooting session. Has a more depressing sentence ever been written in all the English language? [TMZ]

  • Following a recent hospitalization for broken ribs, Aretha Franklin has revealed that she has cancer. The National Enquirer says it's incurable pancreatic cancer, but the Queen of Soul hasn't publicly confirmed or denied it. [Fox411]