Who Is More Evil, Charlize Theron or Julia Roberts?

This is an important question that Hollywood is scrambling to answer, fairy tale style. Also today: Carrie-Anne Moss moves to the small screen, Torchwood news for you spazzes, and Seth MacFarlane's movie is assembling its cast.

Like the Volcano/Dante's Peak foofaraw or the Deep Impact/Armageddon kerfuffle before it, a feud between competing Snow White movies is heating up in Tinseltown. Who will come out on top in the end, Snow White and the Hunstman with Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen, or The Brothers Grimm: Snow White with Julia Roberts as the jealous mirror-gazer? No one knows! Frankly, I'd be excited to see both of them play evil, something neither of them have ever really done (unless you count Roberts in Eat Pray Love, which you absolutely should — on and Monster doesn't count), so there's really no need to fight over this. But if they do feel like they need to fight, ideally they'd meet in an empty field, Oscars clutched in hand. They'd tear toward one another, whipping their Oscars around, Roberts yelling "I'm puttin' some Georgia stank on it, how you like that?" as she pummels Theron over the head, Theron bellowing "Capetown's comin' to nape town!!" as she wallops Julia in the neck. Actually, guys, scrap the Snow White movies. Just make Ballistic 2: Theron vs. Roberts. [Deadline]

Here's some classy news. Lee Daniels, the simplistic minimalist behind Shadowboxer and Precious, has signed on to adapt and direct the movie version of the Pulitzer-winning play Anna in the Tropics. The play tells a story of sex and desire set in a Cuban immigrant-staffed Florida cigar factory. Upon hearing that there was a movie about sex and a cigar factory coming out, Bill Clinton clapped his hands and said "Hoo boy, my kinda movie!" (This item brought to you by the year 1998.) [THR]

Oh good. Bravo's resident booze-swilling teddybear Andy Cohen has received a promotion for all of his successes, not the least of which is convincing people to tune in twice a week to watch him get drunk in his basement and giggle at his employees. I mean, that does deserve a reward, most definitely. He'll now be Executive Vice President of Original Programming and Development, a title that will be shortened to Vice President of Oh No She Didn't. [Variety]

Remember The Matrix? Yeah. Anyway, Carrie-Anne Moss is gearing up to star in a television pilot for Lifetime: Television for Broken People. She'll play a "celebrity psychologist" who decides to go back to her roots and work humbly at a hospital with her sister. So it's one of those shows. You know, those Fancy Person Finds Self In Simpler, Humbler Place shows. On Lifetime. Remember Memento? Yeah. [Deadline]

Mila Kunis is in talks to star as The Girl in a movie called Ted, about a kid who made a wish to have his teddybear be his best friend forever, and now years later that kid has grown up to be Mark Wahlberg and the bear is an angry jerk voiced by Seth MacFarlane (who also wrote and is directing this movie). So Mila cheats on Mark or something with her jerky boss, played by Adam Scott (or course), and Mark Wahlberg is eventually like able to grow and be mature enough for The Girl to come back, ready to implement her Girl plans, which mainly consist of things that are scary to boymen, like commitment and not farting ever again. It must be so fun to play The Girl. I'm sure Elizabeth Banks, Rashida Jones, Malin Akerman, Michelle Monaghan, all those gals would agree. [THR]

Hey nerds, listen. There's a new man in town. Specifically in Cardiff. Mekhi Phifer is joining the next season of Torchwood, the big-time one that Starz is co-financing to air on their little channel. He'll play an ex-CIA guy who goes to Wales to help out (I think they'll still be in Wales?) and then maybe he and John Barrowman do it like only two expats in Wales can do, especially if one of the "expats" is a conman from the 51st century. [Deadline]

Fox has pulled all unaired episodes of Running Wilde from its schedule, essentially meaning the show is absolutely over. Something tells me there won't be an impassioned online campaign for a Running Wilde movie that's held up only by Michael Cera in a few years. I just have a feeling about that. [EW]