I've come to believe the Kardashians are but an optical illusion designed to put viewers in a fugue state, wherein brain use stalls and the ability to recognize pores diminishes. Come, let us gurgle at the Kardashians' uncanny Christmas pictures.

Here's the "official" picture. (Do you think the Kardashians save "exclusive" content for their Christmas card?) Note the plasticine sheen and young Kylie looking like a skittish baby deer frozen in the headlights of a Orange Valley Hummer. Poor girl. She knows not what she partakes in.

[Image via KimKardashian.com]