They're not going to be a couple or anything, but they will both be in New Year's Eve. Also today: some exciting news items for the nerdy among us and AMC orders a new show, as does Nickelodeon.
America's worst movie, the upcoming New Year's Eve, the sequel to the universe's worst movie, Valentine's Day, has some new cast members! Halle Berry, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Zachary Elfwinkle have all joined the cast of Garry Marshall's unholy catastrophe of cinema. Now, now, I'm sure some of you are very upset that I'm declaring a movie bad before it's even been made, but those of us who have suffered in face-clawing agony through the festering rat fire that was Valentine's Day can assure you: there is no way New Year's Eve won't be a tremendous nuclear fart. Do you know what two VD cast members Marshall just had to bring with him to NYE? Jessica Biel and Ashton Kutcher. Yup! Just had to! Because they just hum in that movie, and he wants to recreate the magic. And by "hum" I mean they almost literally spend the entirety of VD blowing goats while vomiting and tap dancing. Hilary Swank and Abigail Breslin are also going to be in NYE. So. I feel pretty OK calling it early. [THR]
This has been an exciting week for nerds! Earlier we heard that Mekhi Phifer was joining the cast of the next, biggest, Americanized season of Torchwood, and today we learn that Bill Pullman is climbing aboard too! What do you think, dear board game store employee? And you, theater company electrician? And I should probably consult you too, University of Chicago chemistry department. What do you all think about these big Torchwood changes? Will the show lose some of its plucky, strings-and-all charm? You know, without its patina of BBC cheapness? [Deadline]
Nickelodeon has ordered a new series called Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures, so if you're a parent, have fun hearing that title said over and over again. Thought hearing some guy yell about "an all new Suite Life" was annoying? Wait 'til you've heard "Bucket & Skinner" shouted twenty times. Though, it will be funny if they start to abbreviate it to "Buck and Skin." They won't do that, obviously, but it would be funny if they did. Man, having kids is the worst. [Variety]
Guys, I'm kind of worried about nerds today. All this excitement might kill them. First Torchwood and now this. Gird your loins, all you engineering grad students. Your beloved Katee Sackhoff will be sacking off all over a movie called Sexy Evil Genius, in which she will play a, well, sexy evil genius. The SEG lures her exes into a trap and exacts her revenge on them, basically. All of this is done very sexily, of course. [THR]
With a spot on its slate left open after the failure of Rubicon, AMC has picked up the Western-ish series Hell On Wheels, about Britney Spears' boyfriend from Crossroads being a former Confederate soldier on the hunt for revenge and building a railroad. Yup! Apparently the people who saw the pilot thought it was great. And how could you not think that? It's about an angry Southern man building railroads. And Common is in it! Everyone loves Common, right? [Deadline]