Are Your Supplements Spiked With Illegal Drugs, or Do They Suck?

Staph inequality! DNA play okay! Probiotic neurotics! Supplement spikers! Sickening food! Fearless women! Caffeine kids! Young anorexics! And heart disease news for the old-person demographic! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with a little something extra!

  • What is it with staph infections, always killing some people and not even messing up other people very much at all? Well people are studying that very question, in case you care.
  • Creating new forms of life by manipulating DNA is "okay," according to a new proclamation by a committee of godless heathens. They may go so far as to say the practice is even "fun."
  • Famous Jamie Lee Curtis-inspired poop yogurt Activia does not really do all the things it says, according to the FTC, and therefore Dannon has to pay $21 million. Hopefully to a poop-related foundation.
  • The FDA is warning that some makers of "dietary supplements" are spiking their products with everything from steroids to viagra to (probably) steroidagra. Which supplements, exactly? Let me just run get a pen.
  • One in six Americans gets a food-borne illness each year. Always, always, always have safe sex with food.
  • Behold: The brain-damaged woman who feels no fear! Her name is Condoleeza Rice.
  • Did you know that three out of four kids aged 5 to7 drink caffeine every day? What a horrible bunch of parents you people are. We can no longer be held responsible for throwing things at your hopped-up kids.
  • Your child also has an eating disorder.
  • Over the past decade, the death rate from heart disease has dropped by 28%. Yea it better, since we spend close to $300 billion a year on it! Hey doc, how about just give me the cash and I'll take the heart disease, eh? Here's some science for you, it's called common sense?!
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