The Western Shall Rise AgainS

Now that True Grit is a bona fide smash hit, we can expect to see a lot more Westerns in the future. We cannot, however, expect to see a lot more Fockers movies. Those are probably done.

1) Little Fockers — $26.3M
Sure, sure, that's a pretty decent number on paper, but if you look deeper, it's seriously under-performing compared to Meet the Fockers a few years ago. So the steam is running out of this particular jalopy or something. With every passing less-than-stellar week, our hopes for Focking Teenagers and College Dorm Room Fockfest dwindle ever more. Oh well. There goes the bittersweet coming out comedy, in which Ben and Teri's kid is scared to reveal his gayness to stern grampa De Niro, Hot Gay Focker. That could have been a good one. (Hot because they're in Miami, visiting Dustin and Babs.) And of course we'll have to let go of Mother Focker, about the daughter having her own kid and De Niro being a great-grampa. So many possibilities, now dashed.

2) True Grit — $24.5
Boy, this little focker is doing well. Slipping only one measly percentage point from last week, this $38 million Western adventure has grossed $86 million in ticket sales and is showing no signs of stopping. Remember last week when I wondered if maybe this wouldn't usher in a new trend of Westerns? Well, a successful week two brings that dream closer to reality... I mean, who wouldn't want to see Tom Hardy and Mitch Hewer in Chaps, about two Brits who travel to the Wild West and find adventure? Or what about Zoe Saldana and Kate Mara in Bit & Bridle, about two headstrong rancher girls who stumble into a robbery plot and have to use their riding expertise to foil it and save the New Mexico Territory? (It also involves many scenes of them sleeping in close quarters in a tiny tent...) There are just so many sexy Westerns you could make these days. Emma Watson and Aaron Johnson are the wealthy children of rival frontier town bankers who fall in love amid a bloody turf war in Verona, Arizona. I mean, these things just write themselves. Write some!

3) TRON: Legacy — $18.3M
Snooooze. Wake me up when it's time for light frisbee or something. Borrrring. I'm not mad at Garrett Hedlund, that's for sure, but I'll just go see him in Country Strong (don't lie, guys, you're all so excited to see that movie, SO EXCITED) instead of this computer mumbojumbo. And I'll go see Jeff Bridges in True Grit. And I'll see Yaya DaCosta in some old America's Next Top Model rerun. And Olivia Wilde... well, I don't really need Olivia Wilde. She's not in that movie for people like me. (That is to say people who don't watch House. What'd you think I meant?)

10) The King's Speech — $7.6M
Well look who's broken into the top ten! It's that little stuttering British weirdo that all the adults treat kindly because it's, y'know, challenged. Sigh. I know I should see this. I know I should. And I'm sure it really is good! But good gravy I just cannot motivate myself to get up and go see it. I On Demanded, for money, The Good Guys AND Macgruber this weekend instead of seeing The King's Speech. Oh, and The Expendables too! I mean, two of those are uniformly terrible movies and one of them is nothing to write home about, and yet... they won out over The King's Speech. I guess I'm just a terrible, prejudiced anti-stutterite. I never thought I was, but there's the evidence.

12) How Do You Know — $4.6M
Should have put the question mark in. That's the key to everything.