So, that new house Lindsay Lohan is moving into? It's next door to ex-girlfriend and drink-throwing victim Samantha Ronson, who is "disgusted" and "pissed." How close can you move to your ex-girlfriend's house before you become a real estate stalker?
Depending how big the yards are, "next door" is almost always too close, especially if your relationship was as tumultuous as LiLo and SamRo's was. But what about down the street? Context matters: If you lived next door when you started dating, and then move two houses over when you're apart, you're still really close, but neither of you can really lay claim to the territory, right? There must be some kind of formula for this. How about…
• WHERE D1 = Distance between homes when dating
• AND D2 = Distance between new homes
• AND D1 AND D2 are in the same metropolitan region,
• IF (D1) / 2 > D2
• THEN you are not creepy.
Unless you're one of those people who has preternaturally positive relationships with their exes, I suppose. Anyway, this doesn't solve Lindsay's problem, but at least Sam's ostentatiously bad mood is justified: "When photographers asked the DJ if she had any New Year's resolutions, she replied simply, 'No. I'm too pissed off right now.'" [Us, image via Pacific Coast News]