As excited as we were about tonight's premiere, even we knew V had a lot to prove after a less than stellar first season. ABC promised a lot of changes to do just that. Let's see how they did!

After the Fifth Column successfully infiltrated Anna's mothership and destroyed her birthing suite and the army of soldiers that was waiting to hatch, she basically flipped her shit. I mean, no one would deny any woman an outlet for her grief after a miscarriage, but most women don't unleash a hellish-looking Red Sky on the entire planet as a coping mechanism. And when Anna wasn't busy making the sky ginger? She was busy murdering Val, kidnapping her half-human/half-Visitor baby, and using her "bliss" to try and convince Ryan to return to the Visitor fold.

That's how we left V, but this is how we returned. With this:

And this:



ABC promised us we'd see more of the Visitors this season and, boy, did we ever. Gone are the days when the Visitors' true reptilian nature was just something we saw small glimpses of. Season two of V is all about in-your-face scales, tails, and everything in between.

But back to Anna. When her own citizens began questioning whether she was in the right state of mind to rule, Anna decided to sacrifice one of her own mothership captains to remind everyone exactly who is the H.B.I.C. After that was done, it was time to take aim at regaining control over the human population. After four days of the mysterious Red Sky and then the even scarier Red Rain, humanity began preparing for an all-out interstellar war. With the humans ready to turn on their benevolent alien friend, Anna took to the skies and announced to the citizens of Earth that the Red Sky was some sort of atmospheric cure-all. A Sham-wow for the sky, if you will. Those polluted oceans? Gone. Barren lands? Things of the past. And will Red Sky even stop global warming, let lions lie with lambs, and finally get Annette Benning her long-awaited Oscar? You betcha. It does it all!

After Anna was done convincing the world she wasn't poisoning them—SPOILER ALERT: she was—the Fifth Column decided to try and figure out what Red Sky actually was. With Lisa's help they were able to discover that Anna was tracking the work of a New York City-based climatologist who appeared to be working on deciphering what the Red Sky compound actually was. All they found, however, was some punk kid scientist who had dug up some dusty visitor skeleton out in the deserts of New Mexico. He had logged onto a server he wasn't supposed to by using his professor's login and password—as reckless boy geniuses are often wont to do—and that's why the Vs never suspected that he was the actual threat to them. Along with revealing to the Fifth Column his Visitor version of Lucy, their new recruit also showed them his analysis of the Red Sky compound that Ryan identified as a form of phosphorous native to the Visitor home world. It's a compound, he told them, that the Visitors need in order to reproduce. And now it's in our water, our air, the ground, everywhere! They're gonna make babies with us! MORE ALIEN BABIES!

Oh, and meanwhile Lisa had sex with Tyler onboard the mothership. Now, normally, this wouldn't be the kind of thing I would comment on at all because it was kind of a throwaway scene. You know, one of those gratuitous shirtless/bra and panty scenes that V loves to throw in for no reason other than to let fanboys ogle at the female form. However! When the Fifth Column learned about the phosphorous in the sky, Erica remembered that when she was pregnant with Tyler her doctor had noticed that she had high levels of phosphorous in her system. Did aliens mess with her baby? We don't know! And now her son is having sex with aliens and he just might get them pregnant? You know what that means. EVEN MORE ALIEN BABIES!

But enough about alien babies. (ALIEN BABIES!) After all was said and done we finally had our true "moment" of the episode. It came at the very end when Anna decided to take a little stroll down into the bowels of her ship where a mysterious prisoner awaited her. But not just any prisoner. One of the greatest sci-fi villianesses ever to come to primetime 80s television.

[There was a video here]

DIANA! Sweet, cosmetically-enhanced Diana! Commander of the Visitors in NBC's original V and a veritable camp sci-fi icon. In a single stroke of TV executive-genius, V has brought on Jane Badler to reprise the role of Diana, re-imagined this time around as Anna's imprisoned mother. Why is she imprisoned? Nobody knows. But we can't wait to find out! And if they ever decide to throw her back into those funky Visitor shades from the original series? I really won't blame them one bit.