According to a new survey done by U.S. News & World Report, people under 30 have watched the current financial horrorshow unfold and have taken lessons from you idiots. Namely, they're going to pay down debt and save their money.

From the report:

"Over my 27 years, I've watched the tech bubble burst, the stock market crash, and the housing market nearly collapse … We've seen what can happen and don't want to be caught off-guard," says Adam Williams, who blogs about finances at As a result of that experience, Williams said his priorities are avoiding debt as much as possible, creating a well-diversified investment portfolio, and working hard.

David Weliver, founder of the Money Under 30 blog, says the recession taught 20-somethings to create a financial safety net for themselves. "We're starting our adult lives knowing the importance of having savings to fall back on in the event of job loss, and that we cannot simply buy a home and ride its perpetually increasing value to retirement." As a result, he says, "We're more goal-oriented about our finances-because we have to be."

Hahaha. Well, good for them. Over MY 27 years I've learned how to pretty expertly live paycheck to paycheck with only mild panic arising around the first of the month. And in MY 27 years I've managed to put a wealthy sum of $108 in my savings account. So suck on it, old people! Look at me, being all responsible. So what if I've had 401(k)s explained to me slowly and carefully about sixteen times and I still have absolutely no concept of what it is. So what! U.S. News & World Report says I'm more responsible than you, so I am. Eat it, geezers.