Congress Will Read The Constitution, Minus The Icky Slavery Parts

Well, well, well. Here we all were, excited for today's unabridged, complete reading of the Constitution on the House floor. But it's not going to happen: All of the original language preserving slavery (the good stuff) will be cut. Boo!

House Republicans, as their first act in power, are demanding a reading of the Constitution on the House floor. Whatever. That's fine. Many Democrats are participating, too. And yet the reading of this document — the same one that enshrines freedom of speech as a right — will skip the "politically uncomfortable portions."

A (GOP Rep. Bob) Goodlatte aide explained that the Constitution will be read in its most modern, amended form. This will prevent lawmakers from having to recite politically uncomfortable portions, notably the provisions on the "three-fifths compromise" under which slaves were counted as three-fifths of a person for the purposes of taxation and representation.

As the Washington Post's Greg Sargent Adam Serwer put it in his shot at this very low-hanging fruit, "The reason to include the superceded text is to remind us that the Constitution, while a remarkable document, was not carved out of stone tablets by a finger of light at the summit of Mount Sinai. It was written by men, and despite its promise, it possessed flaws at the moment of its creation that still reverberate today." He's right. It wasn't written on stone tablets by a finger of light at the summit of Mount Sinai. It was written by Jesus, albeit before he hit his stride.

Anyway, you all better be watching CSPAN right now and getting an education. Sure, it's the same U.S. history education that you got in 5th, 7th, 11th, and whatever other grades. Just with less slavery stuff.

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