Hey, look, another snow storm is approaching New York. This one should only bring less than six inches, but even if it were to dump enough to cover the Empire State building, it would be crushed with GPS and cameras.
It should start snowing tomorrow morning, through Saturday night in New York. But have no fear: Mayor Bloomberg, chastened by last storm's disaster, unveiled some new snow-fighting techniques today that will render New York snowpocalypse proof. These include:
- Teams of so-called "Street Condition Observation Units" will roam the streets with video cameras, documenting the, uh, conditions on the streets and also capturing critical viral videos of people skiing on the sidewalk to upload to YouTube.
- Updated training. Will crushing random cars on the street-corner still be part of it? They're so good at that!
- GPS devices in sanitation trucks.
- Mayor Bloomberg will personally roam the streets in a specially-designed exoskeleton (think: Aliens), clearing the snow with attached flamethrowers.*
- New York will be declared a "snow-free zone," which means it will be illegal for any snow flakes to land on the city.*
We got this.
[Image via Getty]