1. Homeless Man with Golden Radio Voice Will Have Your Ears Ringing for Days (UPDATED)
Meet Ted Williams, a homeless man from Columbus, Ohio who has a God given gift. Unfortunately, he has no way to share it. Anyone looking to hire someone for voiceovers? Look no further.
2. This Is What Really Happens When a Match Burns
This is what you see when you light up a match and look extremely close at two thousand frames per second. The chemical reactions of the burning phosphorus and gelatin is mesmerizing and something that your brain wouldn't expect.
3. A Weather Lady's Filthy Sex Talk
In this clip, Weather Channel meteorologist Stephanie Abrams talks about the weather while also, inadvertently, talking about things unloading on her and liking things that go in and out. Sounds like sex, right?
4. This Baby-Swinging Yoga Video Can't Be Real, Right?
The following video shows a Russian lady subjecting a squirming baby to "dynamic exercises" that involve swinging it by its arms and ankles, upside down and over her head. Oddly, there is precedent: Russian swinging baby videos are a meme.
5. The Next 365 Days In 120 Seconds
I just wanted to let you in on a secret. The secret of the future. Yes, that's right, the future: The next 365 days of life in this beautiful pale blue dot are in this video.
6. Sometimes Bowling Balls Do Magical Things
Josh Scanlon rolls two strikes in the 10th frame during the Team USA trials. Then the ball comically slips out of his hands on his third shot. The ball takes it from there.
7. '80s Police Training Video: Prepare To Be Stabbed... IN THE FACE
This police training video from the 1980s makes it fairly clear to the green highway patrolman he needs to worry about one thing and one thing only: knives. They're everywhere. And swords. And bums. FACE STAAAAAAAAB! Mildly NSFW.
8. Millionaire Matchmaker Clashes With "Plumpty Dumpty" Female Client
Last night's episode of Millionaire Matchmaker featured a plus-size publicist named Robin. She's worth $1.7 million and in search of a Matthew McConaughey type. What happened to her was painful.
9. Baby Thinks Chicken Noodle Soup is Hilarious
Babies usually have an odd sense of humor, so you never really know what will make them laugh. This baby looses it over the phrase "chicken noodle", cuteness ahead.
10. Guy Who Turned Water Gun Into Flamethrower Is the Bravest Idiot Ever
Do you have some kerosene, birthday candles and a water gun sitting around your house? Did you ever want to make your own flamethrower? Then watch this video to see how-with absolutely engulfing results! (Don't really do it.)
11. Watch This Soccer Team Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss And Miss Again
A certain member of the Spoiler offices could be quite clearly heard attempting to disguise hysterical laughter by very occasionally coughing as if nothing remotely weird was happening. Just business as usual.
12. Puppy Hijacks Sled and has the Best Snow Day Ever
Has there ever been a reverse-Iditarod where dogs ride the sleds and humans have to trudge through the snow? If so, my money's on this pup to win that potentially hilarious race.
13. Paula Abdul Is Totally Sober, Except For In All Of These Clips
In an interview with CBS' Julie Chen on Sunday, Paula claimed that she's "never been drunk in [her] life." We've compiled quite a few clips that beg to differ.
15. Half-Court Buzzer Beater Not Hard Enough? Kid Does It No-Look, Backwards
This high schooler's too smooth to bother with things like aiming, following the flight of the ball, or celebrating. He's too busy contemplating the groupies he's going to plow through tonight.
16. Stunning Pictures Only a Gamer's Eye Could Have Captured
Trey Ratcliff runs the most popular travel photo blogs in the world, he is also the first person to have an HDR picture hang in the Smithsonian. His photos may feel familiar to gamers, perhaps because Ratcliff himself is one.
17. Gullible Guy Falls Victim to the "Your Smart Phone Is Waterproof" Prank
A gullible guy falls victim to a cruel joke when his friends lead him to believe he can cheat in Angry Birds by submersing his phone in a water. Needless to say, he does not win this game.
18. Kinect Powered Jiggle With Soulcalibur's Ivy Goes Too Far
Ivy from Namco's Soulcalibur fighting game series is perhaps best known for her ample endowments and her unique sword. When combined with Kinect motion capture, Ivy's extreme anatomy doesn't hold up very well.
19. Feminist Car Accident Attorney Commercial is Horrible on so Many Levels
This local commercial for car accident lawyer Judith Marsh that features lines like, "Slow down cowgirl, don't click so fast you're not a man" is sure to be a hit with the ladies.
20. Girl Rocket Launched Off Mega Slip and Slide
Watch what happens when a group of people build a mega slip and slide on the side of a giant hill with a launch pad at the bottom. The results are predictably hilarious.
21. Schoolkids Guess the Ancient Gadgets and Get It All Adorably Wrong
Don't kids say the darndest things? Especially when they're speaking adorable French-Canadian. My favorite moment is when a kid is presented with a floppy disk and says "this goes into an iPod," but if I'm honest I love them all.
23. From Boring Laptop To Awesome Arcade Cabinet
Lenovo - yes, boring old Lenovo - has one of the more interesting gaming-related products on show at this week's CES: a box that transforms a laptop computer into a pint-sized arcade cabinet.
24. What Was Up with Jennifer Aniston at the People's Choice Awards?
Last night, Queen Latifah hosted the 37th Annual People's Choice Awards. The first presenter of the night was Jennifer Aniston. Immediately after Aniston took the stage, something seemed... off. Was she tired? Did Angelina Jolie spike her drink?
26. Man's House Demolished by Mistake
Owing to an unfortunate mixup, Andre Hall came home after the holidays to find his house razed to the ground instead of the condemned property next door. Pittsburgh City officials blame a contractor for the mixup. Whoops?
27. Genius Mary Poppins-esque Photographer Discovered Post Mortem
Vivian Maier worked as a nanny in Chicago in the 1950s-60s. Five decades later, over 30,000 negatives reveal Ms. Maier to be one of the most talented street photographers in our history.
28. Watch An Electric Wheelchair Rider Take The Freeway Exit
The people who make electric scooters like to advertise how they can take their elderly riders anywhere. There's probably a fine-print exemption to "anywhere" that includes the shoulders of busy freeways. This owner did not read the fine print.
29. Here's Definitive Proof that Russian People Are Crazy
Last month, we showed you an incredible video of a Russian teen sliding off of a building with a makeshift bungee cord. Now, another amateur bungee jumping video has surfaced-and it's way, way scarier.
30. The History Of The House That Built Guild Wars
Guild Wars' developer started out with three former Blizzard employees working out of a spare bedroom. See how far they've come in this video retrospective celebrating ten years of ArenaNet.
31. Watch A Cop Beat, Mace Man Who Tells Him To "Shut Up"
A St. Louis police officer working off-duty at a gas station is under investigation after this video of him macing and batoning one of the station's patrons on New Year's Eve surfaced. The officer has a history of excessive force.
32. Badass Penguin Casually Strolls Over a Seal
Watch a seal act like a drama queen as a penguin unexpectedly walks over it. Now that's the most creative way to disturb someone's nap. Thankfully the penguin lives to tell the tale.
33. Joe Biden's Awkward And Unsolicited Dating Advice For Girls
While meeting new senators' families yesterday, Joe Biden told one girl, "Just remember, no dates 'til you're 30." This got an uncomfortable chuckle, so he repeated it to every young woman. Eventually, he switched to, "Hey, how old are you?"
34. Woman Named Happiness Gives Most Gleeful TV Dance Audition
Meet Happiness, a 34-year-old woman auditioning for the UK show Got to Dance. Her energetic, free-form dance moves-in her first public performance-will certainly bring a smile to your face.
35. This Is the New York No One Ever Sees
Armed with gloves, a backpack, and a healthy appreciation for the deadliness of the third rail, urban historian Steven Duncan and videographer Andrew Wonder explore the Undercity. This is the hidden New York. And it's beautiful.
36. Woman Is Shocked to Learn That Her Local Chili's Has Closed
There's really not too much to this video. It's only about 10 seconds long, it features only one person, and she only speaks a couple of sentences. But boy oh boy is it the funniest thing I've seen all day.