On tonight's Late Show, David Letterman welcomed Snooki—or Nicole Polizzi, if you're taking her seriously—on to read the night's Top 10 List, which was "Reasons to Buy the New Snooki Book." She looked shorter than normal. Watch inside.

For those unable/unwilling to watch the video, here's the list:

  • 10) 200 PAGES OF HANGOVER CURES
  • 9) IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS SHOW, THEN YOUR STANDARDS CAN'T BE TOO HIGH
  • 8) J-WOWW GAVE IT 5 WOWWS
  • 7) IT'S SO GOOD, PAULY D WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO READ
  • 6) SHOW ME YOUR RECEIPT AND I'LL GRIND WITH YOU AT ANY NIGHTCLUB OF YOUR CHOICE
  • 5) INCLUDES HELPFUL TIPS ON HOW TO CLEAN RON-RON JUICE OUT OF YOUR CAMARO
  • 4) IF EVERYBODY BUYS MY BOOK, THE ECONOMY WILL BE FIXED
  • 3) COMES WITH A BLANK PAGE WHERE YOU CAN STICK YOUR GUM
  • 2) IF YOU DON'T, I'LL SEND A JUICED-UP GUIDO TO YOUR HOUSE
  • 1) THE FINEST WORK OF LITERATURE EVER WRITTEN BY AN AUTHOR NAMED SNOOKI

[Late Show with David Letterman]