All of These People Are Having Babies, But Not With Each Other

Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are having babies. Kanye got his album cover banned on purpose. Michael Douglas beats cancer. Andy Dick gets kicked out of the Oscars of porn. Tuesday gossip giggles and coos.

  • Owen Wilson, Marion Cotillard, and Jewel are all expecting babies, each with his or her respective significant other. It's a celebrity baby boom! Buy MacLaren stock now! Quoth Jewel: "I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! It was so hard to keep it a secret. I was worried I'd start throwing up on set and everyone would be like, 'Oh, she's pregnant.'" I'm not sure that's what the world would conclude if it heard about a waifish blonde famous person barfing everyday, but let's not sweat the details. Babies! Yay! [Us, Us, images via Getty]

  • Meanwhile, Rachel Zoe is seven months pregnant and having a boy. That progressed quickly. [Us via Celebitchy]

  • All of These People Are Having Babies, But Not With Each OtherKanye West got the cover of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy on purpose because—are you sitting down? you may be shocked—he wanted attention. Artist George Condo told The New Yorker Kanye asked for "something that will be banned." Here's how the creative process worked: "West came to Condo's studio, where for several hours they listened to tapes of his music, and over the next few days Condo made eight or nine paintings. Two of them were portraits of West, one in extreme closeup, with mismatched eyes and four sets of teeth. Another showed his head, crowned and decapitated, placed sideways on a white slab, impaled by a sword. There was also a painting of a dyspeptic ballerina in a black tutu, a painting of the crown and the sword by themselves in a grassy landscape, and a lurid scene of a naked black man on a bed, straddled by a naked white female creature with fearsome features, wings, no arms, and a long, spotted tail. West chose that one." He then took the nightmarish four-sets-of-teeth portrait and wandered off to get a new set of grills. [NewYorker via NYMag]

  • Britney Spears went shopping at Frederick's of Hollywood and bought "a Valentine's Day-themed piece and bodysuit." You can take the barefoot pop star out of the gas station, but she will still be wearing the same garish underwear. [People]

  • Scarlett Johansson is either "single and loving it!" or "devastated" by soon-to-be ex-husband Ryan Reynolds' budding maybe-romance with Sandra Bullock, which makes Scarlett's staged lesbian liplock with Sandy kind of strange, in retrospect. ScarJo went to a party at Jeremy Renner's house and morphed into a "party girl, bouncing from person to person," including Kevin Connolly, Leonardo DiCaprio and a "bunch of agents." She also went to the Chateau Marmont and hugged Zoe Saldana. Beautiful people rubbing shoulders: The life and times of Scarlett Johansson. [Us, Popeater, People]

  • Michael Douglas has beaten cancer. On today's Today show he announced, "I feel good, relieved. The tumor is gone." [People]

  • All of These People Are Having Babies, But Not With Each OtherThe "secret about [Mila Kunis'] smouldering stare": "I was blind in one eye for many years, and nobody knew." She had an infection, then had surgery and got a new lens. Sidenote: How strange must it be to see yourself on every newsstand in the country, with the phrase "BAD GIRL SEX" next to your face, and "GYNO" and "HAIR" on top of your crotch? [Us]

  • At the AVN Awards ("the Oscars of porn") Andy Dick spilled his beer and harassed porn star Tera Patrick and drag queen Chi Chi LaRue. "You could hear Chi Chi saying, 'Leave me alone!'" Shortly thereafter, several brawny men pushed a wet Dick up against the wall, and made Dick disappear. That last sentence refers to security guards kicking Andy out, but it also sounds like a good plot for a porno. [P6]

  • Elsewhere in Vegas, Charlie Sheen spent the weekend going through a "revolving door" of porn stars. He did vodka shots and spent the majority of his time with 2008 Best Anal Sex Scene winner Bree Olson, who you may know from such hits as and "Interracial Slut," "Squirt America," and "I Love Blowbangs." [TMZ, Radar, TMZ, NSFW BreeOlson.com]

  • Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is sorry her 16-year-old daughter used the n-word in a video on YouTube that Housewife frenemy Ramona Singer tweeted for all the world to see. Ramona's excuse: "I'm not very tech savvy, and heartbroken that I accidentally retweeted this." I hate it when I accidentally copy a tweet, paste it into a new tweet, type "RT" in front of it, and then tweet it again. (Yes, it was an old school RT retweet, the kind that is harder to "accidentally" do.) [Popeater, NYMag]

  • Michael Jackson's pharmacist testified yesterday that Dr. Conrad Murray bought 255 vials of Propofol in the months before Jacko's death. That is a shit ton of anesthetic. [X17]