Hollywood's resident madman Nicolas Cage went on a property buying spree in the 2000s, only to find out that, oops, he couldn't afford all those houses. This is one of those places, an $8.9 million palace in America's grossest city.

The home is 14,000 square feet and features a 16-car garage and a sauna. It has views of the city (why would you want to look at that city, ever?) and marble for days. Plus it's haunted with the sound of Cage's maniacal laughter! That's what turns a house into a home, I think.