Terrified Congressmen Learn How to Protect ThemselvesS

Congressional security sent a memo to all House members today outlining a three-step response guide for encounters with gunmen: "run, hide, and if all else fails, attack," as Politico summarizes. Why does the fun response have to be last?

Recommendations like this won't help them when they have zero seconds to respond, as was Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' case. That was the worst possible scenario. But it's important, albeit chilling, for the Sergeant at Arms to use this opportunity to brief members on protocol. First you run. Then hide. And if neither of these work, then fine, go completely nuts and send that chickenshit crying for mommy:

It instructs readers first to try to get away from a shooter, then to hide, and finally "as a last resort, and only when your life is in imminent danger, attempt to disrupt and/or incapacitate the active shooter by: Acting as aggressively as possible against him/her; Throwing items and improvising weapons; Yelling; [and] Committing to your actions."

This is also a good formula for encounters with members of the press, which are much more common. It shouldn't be too hard. Try flicking ballpoint pens and old tissues at them while screaming lyrics to "Since U Been Gone;" see if they still want their precious "quote."

[Image via AP]