Seth Rogen Beats Vince Vaughn in Epic Being Annoying Contest

It's true! Though this holiday weekend isn't technically over, we do have a good idea of how the box office cookie crumbled, and it seems as though Seth Rogen has emerged victorious. Poor Vince Vaughn.

1) The Green Hornet — $34M
Well, good for all of us. Quality wins out in the end! As no finer movies are made these days than ones based on old television series and starring one-trick movie stars turning in the same performance for the tenth time, it's unsurprising that this movie won the weekend. If you count today as more of the weekend, and most normal people do (who aren't the British owners of blog sites, e.g.), this movie will end up with over $40 million for the full weekend. I can't wait for the movie version of CHiPs with Seth Rogen and Wilmer Valderrama. That's going to be great.

2) The Dilemma — $17.4M
According to some this is on track to become Vince Vaughn's lowest-grossing major release opening weekend since Domestic Disturbance, a weird thriller back when he was making serious movies. Why weren't people as eager to see this as other Vince Vaughn movies? He does the same snappy-talking thing here as he does in other things. There's everyone's pal Kevin James doing his lovable sadsack thing. Ron Howard directed this mother! What wasn't to love? Are law abiding Americans still upset about Winona Ryder's thievery? Do people not respond well to Queen Latifah's dirty talk? Are they afraid of sentient meat obelisk Channing Tatum? Is it Jennifer Connelly? Frankly I think everyone was very upset about the gay joke in the original trailer. Typical Vince Vaughn-loving Americans just don't go in for that kind of thing. Nope. Never have, never will. That must be it, don't you think?

4) The King's Speech — $9M
Almost doubling its theater count, this little Brindie (British indie?) that could has hauled in a kingly sum of 44 million American dollars so far. That is pretty remarkable for a British period piece about speech therapy. Pretty good indeed. Maybe that's what The Dilemma needed. Kevin James is struggling with a speech impediment. Or get rid of Kevin James entirely and put Colin Firth in. Or put Colin Firth in the Channing Tatum role. Put him in the Winona Ryder role! Kevin James's partner, Colin Firth, is cheating on him with Channing Tatum. I think that would go over quite smashingly. And instead of The Dilemma, call it A Spot of Bother. There is no way that movie wouldn't break all the box office records!

10) Season of the Witch — $4.5M
Aw nuts. In its second week of release, this Nicolas Cage docudrama about what's going on inside of Nicolas Cage's head did not perform very well. It dropped a hearty 60% or so, which could mean the word-of-mouth wasn't good. That's not terribly surprising though. I mean, are the people who saw this movie last week really the most social of creatures? Didn't they just emerge from their darkened homes, from basements or attics, dwelling above or below their parents like lazy ghosts, and shuffle off to the theater, eat a milk pail full of popcorn, and then stumble home? I don't think it's likely that they stopped off at some sparkly cocktail party on the way home, where there was witty repartee and the sharing of cultural recommendations. "Oh I just saw the most charming revival of Winter's Tale at the Guthrie." "Ah yes, I've heard good things. I myself just came from a showing of Season of the Witch, a Nicolas Cage grand guignol that's delightfully subversive. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must run back to my parents' house to watch Attack of the Show, eat a tube of Pringles, and masturbate for several hours. I bid you adieu!" Call me crazy, but I just don't think that's happening! This is not a word-of-mouth sorta picture, I don't think.

12) Country Strong — $3.7M
This movie felt like it had some momentum in the lead-up to its opening, but it looks like it couldn't quite cut it in the end. In it is second week of wide release it fell about 50%. By comparison, The King's Speech is in about the same amount of theaters and has been out twice as long, and yet grossed significantly more this weekend. And that movie's not about country music, which America really likes! I guess the trick is that being fake British won't get you as far as being real British. Anyway. I'm going to bugger off. I'm knackered. But I'm chuffed you read this whole post! Ta!