[There was a video here]
A lady in Boston listed her cat on her Census form, and now the cat has been summoned for jury duty.
Anna Esposito says she listed her cat in the Census field marked "pets" during the most recent Census, which is odd because my Census form didn't ask about pets. Maybe Anna Esposito was privy to a more-selective Census that only affects specially-selected people, like raffle winners or the millionth person to walk in the door at Sam's Club? (It appears the Census collects data on pets, but I can't figure out the timeline.)
Anyway, Anna tried to get her cat out of jury duty, but she wasn't sure what excuse to give the court, so she went with "Doesn't speak English." The cat is still required to make an appearance, because nobody knows it's not a human, yet.