Think you're the only one with skin issues? Well, it turns out that even duplicitous reptilian alien invaders have their own dermatological concerns. Let's explore these and other interesting tidbits concerning life, death, and f***ing hipsters from last night's V.
Three episodes in and already this season of V is lightyears ahead of where we were at this point during season 1. We've seen visitor babies, we've seen visitor skeletons, and now we've seen the visitors do... whatever this is:
Some would say it's just your run-of-the-mill alien attack stance. To me it looks like the same face I make in whenever I'm in the vicinity of Shake Shack. What can I say? Those burgers are to die for.
Know what else is? Apparently our souls. It isn't just Father Jack who has a vested interest in our eternal damnation. Tonight we learned that Anna and the visitors seem to believe that our belief in an eternal soul poses a looming threat to their master plan. She and Joshua began experiments on "hundreds of thousands" of human test subjects in an attempt to isolate our souls and determine it's roots and weaknesses. Once they've discovered all of that Anna believes they'll have the key to conquering us all for good. But there's one tiny flaw that I can see with the way she went about beginning these experiments on board the mothership, however, and that's with the subjects she chose.
See that? A sleeve tattoo. My advice to you, Anna? If you want to find the key to the souls of humanity you might want to begin by not limiting your search to Bedford Avenue hipsters. (Full disclosure: I'm a Bedford Avenue hipster with a sleeve tattoo.)
Meanwhile, back on Earth, the Fifth Column kidnapped Erica's FBI partner—a visitor, duh—in search of answers about what may or may not have been done to Tyler while Erica was pregnant with him. Unfortunately their hostage was a really big let down in the information-on-birth-manipulation department and all we were left with was the information we learned in the very beginning of the episode from the newest member of the Scooby gang. We learned that the visitors managed to somehow alter Tyler's genes by eliminating strands of his DNA thus leaving holes in his genetic code. If you recall from Jurassic Park, this same problem occurred when the good scientists on Isla Sorna began cloning dino-DNA. They filled the holes with frog DNA and were able to create new breeds of dinosaurs that could breed in a single sex environment. Will Tyler also be able to reproduce by himself? As a fan of man-on-man action myself I wouldn't be too opposed to watching him try if that's the direction the producers decide to take this thing in. Only problem is he does seem to love that Lisa chick. You know, the one with all of that luscious blond hair, those piercing blue eyes... oh, and that good old fashioned reptilian breeding skin.
Anna says this is all normal. Lisa is going to have to expect that her body will go through some changes all so that she can become exactly like Anna. Are you there god? It's me, confused about why she'd need to go through puberty twice when clearly she has boobs and we've seen that other visitors can have children. Is Anna some sort of queen like in a beehive? Is she everyone's mother? And what does this mean for Anna if her daughter is becoming a queen too? Nothing, Anna says. But Diana warns her that Lisa maturing into her queenliness is only the beginning of the end for Anna. And, speaking of Diana, can we please give Jane Badler some more screen time? These little snippets of screen time for her from inside the prison cell that time and natural lighting forgot isn't nearly enough for a die-hard Diana fan like myself.
As for the rest of the episode, Father Jack was tricked by Anna into becoming an internet meme, Chad Decker finally figured out that the V's were more than meets the eye, and—gasp!—Ryan may or may not expose the rest of the Fifth Column to Anna! Will he? Probably not, but what a great way to not let people down by ending the episode on yet another cliffhanger ABC! Now, if you'll excuse me, I think there's a fair trade coffee shop somewhere in Brooklyn with my name on it.