Teen Mom 2: Lawyers, Money, Heath Risks, and Other Lessons

Here's why these four MTV moms get to have their lives illustrated with silly little cartoons.

"JUHNELLE"

Most Likely To Be Voted Off Planet Earth

It seems as though MTV has captured nothing but reel upon reel of our young ingenue, Jenelle, being an awful human being. Remember last week when she threatened to kill her Mom? Wasn't that lovely? Here she is meeting with a lawyer (that she can't afford) to discuss the impending custody battle against her Mother. When asked if she partakes in illegal drugs, she admits to smoking marijuana but insists "I would be clean and I would stop" if she had custody of Jace. Totally believe you, girl.

CHELSEA

Most Snoozeworthy

Chelsea is pretty boring. She kind of loafs around whatever midwestern town she's from in her designer sweatpants, spends her Father's money and whimpers about how she misses her emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, Adam. Lame. Waiting with bated breath for Chelsea and her housemate Megan to confess their passion for one another and live happily ever after together in a love-nest made of hairspray, Ugg fuzz and self bronzer.

Teen Mom 2: Lawyers, Money, Heath Risks, and Other Lessons

KAILYN

Most Likely to Get Kicked Out Of Her Baby Daddy's Parent's House

Despite breaking things off with Jo, her baby daddy, Kailyn is still living in his family's home. Awkward. Feeling guilty about a blossoming but forbidden romance with a Sports Authority co-worker, Kailyn asks her friends how she should confront Jo with this news. "Facebook!" was their unanimous answer. "Cryptically put ‘In A Relationship' on your profile!" they cried. Kailyn, being about as intelligent as she looks, complied.

LEAH

Most Resembling An Archetypal Tragic Hero

Every since getting her rocks off in her 16 & Pregnant episode by cheating on her twin's father, Corey, and pulling other obnoxious stunts, Leah has been on a trail of suffering and repentance. Just when she thought getting Corey back was her biggest challenge, she learns that her daughter Aliannah has nerve damage that is causing her to develop slower than her twin sister, Aleeah. Tragically, she also likes to wear really, really tacky nail polish.

Teen Mom 2: Lawyers, Money, Heath Risks, and Other Lessons