Even casual cable television viewers have probably noticed how oddly prevalent ghost hunting shows are. Every network seems to be getting one, so here are five made up shows that are almost certainly on their way.
Guy Fieri and Paula Deen travel the country, talking about how ridiculous they look and eat buttery soul food in graveyards. The paranormal aspect would mainly revolve around the idea Paula Deen hasn't had a heart attack yet… or has she (bum bum buuuummm)?
Lifetime - "Pretty Lady Paranormal Investigators"
This one's pretty self-explanatory. It'd follow a spunky team of post-menopausal women who have teamed up with their daughters who don't talk to them anymore because they're probably in abusive relationships with men they met in AOL chatrooms while they were at art school in the big city.
A team of wicked cool fraternity brothers and WWE wrestlers go into abandoned Las Vegas strip clubs in search of "pair-anormal" activity… because they're looking for ghost boobs and stuff. Also, the title sequence would have a lot of explosions and super bad ass guitar solos. The show would almost immediately be cancelled and replaced with more CSI reruns.
USA Network - "Spies Who Rob Banks And Hunt Ghosts"
A team of ghost hunters (who might be spies and/or bank robbers) that include an older guy who's a real pro at ghost hunting, a handsome younger guy who's really smooth, a guy with black curly hair and glasses who wears Converse shoes and does computer stuff who everyone rags on, a black guy who has really good one-liners that put everyone in their place, and a hot blonde chick that has even snappier one-liners that put the really smooth guy in his place.
MTV - "Ghostsmooshers"
When Snooki eventually dies of alcohol poisoning/heart disease face down in front of a bar/fried pickle stand MTV is going to need a new format. Join The Situation as he spends his summer living in the haunted Shore house, getting drunk, having unprotected sex and trapping Snooki's restless spirit in a vodka bottle.
Hi I'm Ryan Broderick. I write on the internet on lots of different places. If you're interested in reading more of my stuff go here. I also occasionally get drunk and do comedy in the real world. If you're interested in seeing some of that stuff well then you should go to StudentLoansForBeerMoney. Catch you on the flipside, bro. Follow Ryan on Tumblr here.