It's Mitt Romney's Fault That You Can't Get Porn at the Marriott Anymore

The Marriott International hotel group won't offer porn on its room TVs in any of its new hotels. Not only that, it's phasing out porn across the entire chain over the next few years. And it's all Mitt Romney's fault.

Yes, folks, it's the end of an era! (The "I Wonder If The Hotel Clerk Can See What Movies I Order" Era.) No new Marriott hotels will offer "adult content," and the same "adult content" will be removed from the current hotels "over the next few years."

But why? Marriott doesn't give an official reason. It's possible that the Marriott family's Mormon faith made them uncomfortable profiting off the bored horniness of lonely business travelers. It could be that hotel guests are turning to their laptops and iPads and iPhones and cornea implants for their porn delivery platforms, making the content deals unprofitable for the hotel chain.

But Politico's Ben Smith points in a different, far more nefarious direction: Former Massachusetts Governor and likely Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who sat on Marriott's board, and who counts the chain's owners among his biggest supporters.

The hotel chain's lucrative porn sideline was an irritant to Romney during the 2008 campaign, when one social conservative referred to him as a "major pornographer." Now, he has a better story to tell. And the reader who pointed this decision out notes that Marriott seems to be doing Romney a costly favor: The in-room porn business is in decline, but was still making them some $175 per room annually, according to the most recent figures available.

Smith goes on to paraphrase another source who's skeptical that Romney enters into the equation. Whatever! We're comfortable blaming the terrible loss of hotel porn on Mitt Romney, former major pornographer. This is Mitt Romney's America, friends: Desperately trying to masturbate to The Big Bang Theory in the airport Marriott. Is that what you want? Is that what you want?

[Ben Smith/POLITICO; USAT]