Old galaxies! Nabokov butterflies! Milk safety! Insomnia relief! Cell timers! Solar sails! Bat naps! Math extinctions! Ovulation dreams! Breast chips! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—wackily, come on!
- Astronomers have found the oldest galaxy yet, one formed 480 million years after the Big Bang. We prefer the term "mature."
- Nabokov, when he wasn't writing Lolita, came up with some theory about butterflies 65 years ago, and now scientists have finally... man, I'm so bored by this.
- Should milk be safe to drink? Milk producers say no.
- "Insomnia relief might start with spending less time in bed." Ridiculous.
- New studies indicate that the mechanism the body uses for keeping time on a cellular level "may be more complicated than scientists thought." So it's not a tiny hourglass, then.
- Scientists went to all the trouble of building a "solar sail" and sending it into space on a rocket ship but when the time came to go solar sailing, it malfunctioned. But then just the other day it surprisingly just started working! Congratulations, NASA: you've mastered sailing. Just like Earth people did THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, YES.
- Carnivorous pitcher plants are deadly for insects but not for bats, bats don't care so much they even take naps inside the pitcher plants. That's awesome.
- Supposedly there's a mathematical model that can predict future extinctions. If you believe that I have a few wooden nickels I'd like to use to purchase some items from you.
- Having dreams about your ex-boyfriend? Probably because you're about to ovulate. Unless you're a man.
- "Breast on a chip." This is what you've been doing with your time, Purdue University researchers? I want to see all of you in my office. And bring those breast chips.