Ellen Degeneres turned 53—that's right 53—today and her show was filled with birthday fun. There was a performance from the "Double Dream Hands" guy and Colin open-mouth kissed Ellen while Portia de Rossi watched.

Later, Julia Roberts (who had never been on her show before) presented Ellen with a cake—and Colin Farrell. And then Colin kissed Ellen on the mouth. Portia seemed cool with it.

At the big grand finale of the episode, Jayden Smith came out and gifted Ellen a well (so that a village could drink for 20 years) but nobody cared because it's wasn't nearly as exciting as the rest of the episode. Also, his gift sounds like something his scientologist parents thought would be a good idea.