Because last weekend's Alec Baldwin-starring installment of Ina Garten's Barefoot Contessa was such a hit around these parts—and because why the hell not—I decided to recap yesterday's all-new episode! Picture this: Ina and Jeffrey in a steak throwdown.

Yes, you read that right: East Hampton's favorite couple—on the weekends, at least, when Jeffrey's not busy being a professor at Yale and Ina's not busy with all of her fabulous gay friends (T.R., Miguel, Michael the Florist, Frank Newbold, Stephen Drucker, Edwina von Gal, etc.)—was back yesterday with another Friday night dinner. But wait! As it turns out, this meal will not be the typical Friday night roast chicken feast for the Gartens—you see, Ina's decided to ~turn the volume up~ and make a few changes. Allow her to explain (P.S. — Who knew that you could make ricotta?):


As Ina finished up her homemade ricotta—again, who knew you could make ricotta?!—she let us know that she had asked Jeffrey to pick up some charcoal on his way home. Naturally, he knew that something was afoot. Also, he doesn't know how to shop.

What's next? Oh, duh—cocktail time! In this clip, Ina makes another reference to Jeffrey's inability to manage a grill while getting started on her watermelon Mojitos. Meanwhile, Jeffrey attempts to prepare his charcoal (though he's not sure yet what it's for).


Then, Ina goes outside to serve Jeffrey (and herself, duh) the watermelon Mojitos, inspect his grill-lighting proficiency, make some jokes about the two of them getting drunk, grill some bruschetta—topped with the homemade ricotta!—and finally come clean about the upcoming steak throwdown.

It. Is. On.

A pair of two-inch filet mignon steaks, an ambushed husband out back—well, near their "barn," which is bigger than most houses, which is in the middle of their ORCHARD, which is part of their backyard—and a sneaky, shent-wearing wife in the kitchen. Oh, did you ask why I called Ina sneaky? You did? Great, let me explain! Or, rather, let her explain (and brag, in a charming way, about her steak-preparing proficiency).

Butter! Yes, yes—Ina put a pat of butter on top of her steak, and she didn't even tell Jeffrey! How will this affect the results of their competition? Let's find out.

How adorable is that?

An Ode to Ina: Barefoot Contessa in Three Acts
Do you know Ina Garten? If not, then you should, and the following videos will prove why. Garten hosts Barefoot Contessa, the wildly popular, wildly insane Food Network program, and she's not afraid to let her quirks shine. Inside, a tribute.

[Barefoot Contessa: Back to Basics]