When in doubt that your movie might not be the worst movie ever made, add Katherine Heigl to it. That ought to do! Also today: Batman news, Superman news, a comedian goes into business, and a CSI star returns.
Oh awesome. You know New Year's Eve, the followup to Valentine's Day that's going to be the worst movie ever made? Based on the fact that VD was so offensively bad? Well. Ha. Among some other stellar cast members — Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, Justin Bieber — Oscar-winner Halle Berry was supposed to play a part, the love interest of Jon Bon Jovi, in fact. Well, Berry suddenly remembered that she has an Oscar or something and backed out of the film, and do you know who has stepped in to replace her? America's second-favorite black actress, Katherine Heigl! Hahahahahaha. That's like the waiter saying "Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of the steak. But we do have some fresh monkey shit available." And then the film exec is like "Hm... Monkey shit. OK, that sounds good. Seems like a fair swap. We'll have the monkey shit." Good move, New Year's Eve. There is no way this movie won't be the end times event that opens the Hellmouth and brings about Ragnarök. Absolutely no way. [Deadline]
So we have a new Superman! Yeah, his name is Henry Cavill and he lives in England. Every superhero now is British. He apparently got the role in the Zak Snyder-directed (ugh) film over Matthew Goode, who really really wanted the part. Eh, I say better for Goode — an attractive and talented actor — that he not get wrapped up in the whole superhero thing. Especially Superman. It didn't work out too well for ol' Brandon Routh now, did it? I think he's better off. You're good, Goode. If you don't believe me, I'd be happy to tell you in person. [THR]
CSI retiree William Petersen — sick of wandering around his Chicago megamansion, aimlessly shooting his pistol at walls and chandeliers, rigging golf carts with sticks and watching as they drive into the body of water on his property that he has named, after his show, Semen Stain Pond — has decided to return to work. He'll be guest starring in an episode that he's already filmed. That's good for you William. Get out the house a little, talk to some people that aren't maids or emotionally estranged wives and children, spend a day not staring at the Olympic-sized swimming pool and its sprinkle of floating dead leaves, wondering how long you could sit at the bottom before you'd have to come coughing back up to the surface. [EW]
Funny fatman Jonah Hill has created his own production company, humbly titled JHF. I like that. No elaborate inside joke or anything. The company has already signed a first-look deal with Fox, and the network has already bought a spec script for a single-camera comedy written by Hill. He also has a cartoon in the works with the network. Meanwhile that kid from your college screenwriting class who was always talking a big game just got promoted to shift manager at the call center. [Deadline]
Well here we go. Christopher Nolan says he hopes to begin production on The Dark Knight Rises in May, saying that the screenplay is just about to where he wants it to be. OK. So that's like three months to talk him out of having Anne Hathaway be Catwoman right? Quick, someone show him tapes of Rosamund Pike. Or of ______. Who do you want him to cast instead? [EW]
CBS has signed a rare talent holding deal with British actress Lucy Griffiths, who played Marian on two seasons of the UK show Robin Hood. With the deal, the network basically guarantees it will cast Griffiths in either a comedy or a drama series at some point. Meanwhile, the girl from your acting class who always strutted around like she ran the place got "let go" from the call center but of course it was her manager's fault and she's still part-time at Maggiano's Little Italy at the Grove. [Deadline]