Egypt! It's so complicated. Is it a popular democratic uprising? Or is it a collusion between the Muslim Brotherhood and Bill Ayers in the hopes of instating global Sharia law? Or is it just a sign of the Muslim antichrist?
Here's a list of our favorite bizarro right-wing conspiracy theories, predictions, ideas and accusations. They are... pretty amazing! Not in the good way, though.
Egypt and the rest of the Mediterranean countries are all on fire, creating a snowball that is Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Iran 1979
Players: Egypt, Tunisia, Israel, Spain, Greece, Italy, England, Ireland, Russia, the Mediterranean, Franz Ferdinand
Advanced by: Glenn Beck (see video above)
Sample quote: "The entire Mediterranean is on fire. More than that, it's not just the surrounding countries of the Mediterranean; it also spreads up here — you have the U.K. and Ireland already with riots in the street… I think there is a chance that Tunisia is our Archduke Ferdinand moment… He was the guy assassinated in Sarajevo, June 1914. A month later, Austria and Hungary declared war against Serbia and the rest is called World War I. I believe a snowball is being formed, and it is starting to roll… You can at least prepare to not get caught in the snowball. I'm going to show you in a minute how this isn't Berlin. This is Iran, 1979."
Bill Ayers taught the Muslim Brotherhood how to protest
Players: Bill Ayers, Code Pink, President Obama, the Muslim Brotherhood
Advanced by: Kristinn Taylor and Andrea Shea King on BigGovernment.com
Sample quote: "The question is begged: What have Obama's allies Ayers, Dohrn and Code Pink taught the Muslim Brotherhood and other anti-Mubarak organizations in Egypt about using protests, riots and the modern social media to coordinate their actions to undermine the Mubarak regime?"
President Obama secretly facilitated and/or encouraged an Islamist takeover of Egypt
Players: President Obama, nonspecific Islamists
Advanced by: Right-wing personality Tammy Bruce
Sample quote: "If it is found that Obama secretly facilitated or *encouraged* an Islamist takeover of Egypt, an ally, he should be impeached."
Obama is a "pharaoh" who grew a "quasi-mustache" because he is Muslim
Players: President Obama, Muslims, President Obama's facial hair
Advanced by: Rush Limbaugh
Sample quote: "Well, the same question needs to be asked about Pharaoh Obama. Why didn't the Pharaoh see this coming, particularly given his wonderful relationship with this regimes and their people? Obama went over there, made a speech...even grew a quasi-mustache there for the appropriate facial hair."
Escalating anarchy in Egypt is merely a prelude to revolt in the streets in the U.S.
Players: President Obama's obvious authoritarianism, the people, guns, Facebook
Advanced by: Wayne Allyn Root
Sample quote: "Will Obama cut off access to Facebook and Twitter? Will he try to shut down talk radio and FOX News? Obama and his Democratic allies have already suggested doing that (before a true crisis) with "The Fairness Act." Will Obama attempt to ban guns?... Will Obama call in the military to contain the riots of unemployed, hungry, angry youth here in America's biggest cities? Will he allow free speech - even if massive protests call for Obama to step down?"
The Egyptian revolution will result in a dictatorship, because revolutions always result in dictatorships
Players: The secret Egyptian desire for despotism, the inexorable march of history
Advanced by: Michael Walsh
Sample quote: "Anyway, when you look at the course of revolution in the modern era, it's always the same-old same-old: Czar Nicky - Kerensky - Lenin; Kaiser Willie - Weimar Republic - Hitler; Shah Pahlavi - Mr. Bani Sadr - Khomeini. Heck, we can even take it one step further: Gorbachev - Yeltsin - Putin. In other words, no matter the high intentions and democratic slogans, it always turns out badly in the end, especially in countries with, shall we say, a natural affinity for despotism."
Leftists and Islamists have joined forces in Egypt to set the stage for the coming of the Islamic Antichrist
Players: Leftists, Islamists, scripture, the Islamic Antichrist
Advanced by: Author Joel Richardson on WorldNetDaily
Sample quote: "First, both leftist and Islamist ideologies share a populist, collectivist, and even utopian political vision. While the American ideal seeks 'economic freedom,' leftist and Islamists both seek 'economic justice' or radical wealth redistribution as a definitive goal. Second, both the Leftists and Islamists are now using the vehicle of riots, violent protests and revolution to achieve their goals."
The Muslim Brotherhood is attempting to enact Sharia law in the United States
Players: The Muslim Brotherhood, "front organizations," Homeland Security Adviser John Brennan, Allah
Advanced by: Bearded crazy Frank Gaffney
Sample quote: "Janet Napolitano, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, is incessantly meeting with Muslim Brotherhood front organizations and I think has in the past, if not today, employed people who are associated with them."
Players: Iran, Israel, bombs
Advanced by: Guess who!
Sample quote: "I don't think there's much time to act. And I think the fall of a Egyptian government committed to the peace agreement will almost certainly speed that timetable up."