Last night on Jersey Shore, Ronnie had to be rushed to the doctor for emergency treatment. Of course, on Academy Award Nominated Jersey Shore "emergency treatment" is translated as drinking so much you start bleeding from your anus.

The doctor says the anal bleeding is from drinking too heavily. Hm. I don't think this doctor knows what he's talking about because that obviously isn't it. Ronnie has always been a raging alcoholic (Remember when he motorboated those grenades in Miami? Remember???) and he hasn't bled from his asshole before. That's not even mentioning the fact that Ronnie can't quit drinking. MTV will fire him if he quits drinking- it's his only expectation as a cast member!

My diagnosis is this was caused by prolonged exposure to his girlfriend Sammi- the most annoying person on Earth. By the way, they later broke up in this episode. Not that anybody really cares. They break up every episode.