Post-Superbowl Glee gave us a football game, as well as a human cannon, a zombie makeover, and the Katie Couric interview of Sue Sylvester we've been waiting for.
Last night's Superbowl episode of Glee started off with a Cheerios routine to Katy Perry's Firework, quickly followed by a football game, which was important because we had all forgoten they actually played football instead of just walking around in uniforms all day. Finn and his team seemed to be on their way to a victory when a disconnect between him and Kurt-Hater Karofsky turned Finn into a butterfingers. Enter the Remember the Titans motif. One team made up of two groups of people?! How will they come together to win the game?!
While Denzel Washington brought his team together with backbreaking exercise and arduously long drills, new BFFLs Coach Beast and Mr. Schuester decide the only way these two opposing sides can work as a team is through the power of song and dance. Thus, they force the football team to join the Glee club. How wacky! In hindsight, Lady Antebellum may not have been the best music choice to impress a room full of male athletes.
Meanwhile, Sue Sylvester finds herself unable to top her old work. She is bored by everything she does; even the flaming bras and blue wigs she enlisted the girls to wear in the first number couldn't get her juices flowing. Where does she turn for inspiration? A violent cartoon from the 40s. It is there that she finds what she's been looking for, the most exciting undertaking yet, the ultimate cheerleading machine: the human cannon.
Sue immediately purchases said cannon from a carnie, and asks Brittany to climb inside. Quinn, sensing danger like Lassie knows she must run and fetch help... in the form of Mr. Schuester. So, Buttinsky, I mean, Mr. Schue gets involved again in something that has nothing to do with him, and the principal, in rare form, reprimands Sue. Then Sue turned into Godzilla and Mr. Schue went a-gossping again.
Conflict! No halftime show!? You can't possibly play football without a halftime show. Preposterous. What would Denzel Washington do? Have the team sing and dance on the field? It's GENIUS. BFFLs Coach Beast and Mr. Schuester tell the Glee Club/Football Team that they have to perform Michael Jackson's "Thriller" mashed with "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, dressed like Zombies. The only problem is the Cheerios can't perform, meaning Quinn, Brittany, and Santana (aka the sex appeal) quit Glee club to save their popularity, again.
The remaining Glee Club/Football Team do an awesome performance of "She's Not There" by the Zombies, in full Zombie make up, Artie taking home the prize for the most horrifying. Mr. Schuester's plan worked! The newly integrated group, hitherto referred to as GleeBall, is so proud of their performance they stroll through the halls in Zombie makeup, practically ready to sing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" in the locker room. That is, until, the hockey team, mullets and all, throws slushies at GleeBall, breaking their newly formed bonds. The football half of GleeBall quits, and now the football team only has 5 players for their championship game.
The scrappy Glee Club members do not give up: they make the girls play, and unsurprisingly the team gets slaughtered for a full half. So, just like in Remember the Titans, when the team captain got everyone together to chant "Left side, strong side!", Finn takes it upon himself to bring everyone together. He lets Sam play QB while he gets the Cheerios and enlists Puck to bring back the football players. Puck gives an impassioned speech saying that this singular football game was the only moment of their lives they could tell their children about, and it works. Finn gives an impassioned speech to Santana, Brittany, and Quinn about how Glee is who they are, accurately accusing Sue of trying to Brittany, and it works. Everyone except Kurt-Hater Karofsky is now ready for their triumphant return to the field!
Zombies and teamwork saved the day! The team spends the rest of the game shouting "Brains!" and, thank goodness, wins. What happened to the Cheerios you may ask? Well, good thing Katie Couric had nothing else to do and stopped by to find out. Interviewing Sue Sylvester in her "Biggest Losers" segment, we find out that not only did Sue lose the championships but her entire budget was transferred to the Glee club. Burn!
But wait, there are still two minutes left in the episode! While the Titans stayed friends until the end, GleeBall seems to be doomed. Finn talks to Kurt-Hater Karofsky about joining the Glee club permanently and apologizing to baby-face Kurt. This was met with aggression. No surprise. Quinn, however, is watching, standing in the light, letting the sun sparkle on her golden hair, waiting to tell Finn how impressed she is with him this week and, WAIT FOR IT, kiss him. Fin. AWESOME!