Last night's episode of Glee, entitled "Silly Love Songs" was all about that finicky organ known as the human heart. Yes, Valentine's Day has come to McKinley High and the Gleeks are finding themselves falling in and out of love quicker than Sue Sylvester fires insults.
Coming off of his recent football victory, Finn finds himself back on top of the high school social ladder as well as back on ex girlfriend Quinn's radar. At the end of the previous episode, the pair shared a brief make-out session in the hallway, even though Quinn has promise-ringed herself to blond dim-witted Sam. Why is it that Quinn, who seems so bright, always goes for such dummies? She's the type of girl who ought to have some off-campus boyfriend who goes to Ohio State, majors in engineering and runs youth ministry camping trips, but instead she's slumming it with these high school boys who, as we're often reminded, are total doofs.
Finn decides that he wants Quinn back, even after all of the baby mama drama she put him through in season one. Unfortunately, Quinn's guilty conscience has caught up with her and she refuses to kiss him while she is still with Sam. Finn then decides to capitalize on his newfound popularity by opening a kissing booth to earn money for the glee club and create enough of a pretense that Quinn can kiss him guilt-free.
Somehow, Santana, newly liberated from her Cheerios uniform, catches wind of Finn's plan and decides to meddle because… she's evil? Because she's alone on Valentine's Day? Because the glee club finally tells her how mean she is and she wants revenge? I don't know. The point is that meddle she does and it results in both Quinn and Finn getting sick with mono. This makes Sam and Rachel (who is still pining for her Finn-lump) suspicious. Rachel confronts Finn directly and he confesses that when he's with Quinn, he sees fireworks, something that he never saw with her.
To her credit, Rachel takes this in stride, deciding, with the encouragement of Kurt and Mercedes (neither of whom has had a solo in-how many episodes now? I hope Ryan Murphy knows that I'm frowning right now) to devote herself to achieving stardom rather than pining after boys. She then sings Katy Perry's "Firework" (because Finn mentioned fireworks, I guess) and does fine job. It sounds a lot like the original, so, yeah, it's just fine.
Romance is also brewing between Puck and the newest member of glee club, Lauren Zizes. Or at least it is on Puck's end. So far, Lauren, who is a state wrestling champion and all-round rad lady, is unimpressed. She tells Puck that if he wants to be her date on Valentine's it's time he step up his game and really try to woo her. His first attempt to do so fails when he serenades her with Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" in front of the whole glee club to prove that he doesn't mind that her size.
Some weird stuff happens in this scene. While most of the club is pleasantly surprised to find out about Puck's crush, Santana and Mr. Schue seem to be competing to see who has the best "this is gross" face. Being upset makes sense for Santana, who has dated Puck in the past, but why does Schue keep pulling his lame Muppet frown? Is it because he's a big jerk? I bet it's because he's a big jerk.
Lauren's reaction is unexpected, as well. Whereas previously she has come off as unapologetic about being fat, she now says the song that Puck has chosen for her has hurt her feelings and made her feel fetishized. Eventually, Puck convinces her that it is not her size, but her badass-ness that attracts him to her and she agrees to get to know him, starting with a nice V-Day date.
Next, we head over to Gay Hogwarts where Kurt is hoping against all hopes to be invited to the Valentine's Day Yule Ball by one Harry Potter. Okay, fine. It's not Harry Potter he's pining after, it's that dapper crooner Blaine. And they don't go to Gay Hogwarts; they go to Dalton Academy, a utopia where they spend their time sipping lattes and singing flirty duets by the fireplace.
Blaine tells Kurt that there's a guy he's been crushing on and wants to serenade for Valentine's Day. Kurt assumes that Blaine is talking about him and tells him to go for it. As it goes, Blaine is actually talking about an older Gap employee whose hair is reminiscent of the Penn Badgley "John Tucker Must Die" fiasco of 2006. When Kurt finds out, he's notably crushed, but urges Blaine on regardless. He even convinces the Dalton Warblers to act as Blaine's backup for when he song-ambushes his crush at the Gap. Generally, character growth is a foreign concept for Glee, so it was a pleasant surprise to see Kurt handle this messy situation with such maturity. Hooray, Kurt!
For their in-Gap performance, the Warblers and Blaine sing Robin Thicke's "When I Get You Alone." It's probably the best number of the night, though the Gap guy is left unimpressed. Not only does he not appreciate being sexual harassed and outed at work (even through song, if you can believe it!), but he thinks that Blaine has completely misread their relationship.
In another surprising act of maturity, Kurt confronts Blaine about his own feelings and Blaine admits that, while he puts on a knowing front, he's really just as lost and naive in relationships as any other teenager. I then got lost when Kurt compared them to Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in "When Harry Met Sally," but, then again, I'm no "When Harry Met Sally" aficionado. Maybe fans of the movie were like, "Aha! Blaine and Kurt are exactly like Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal!" Who knows. Anyway, regardless of my confusion, I found the boys' shy flirty smiles quite sweet. These kids might just have a future after all.