In a stroke of absent-minded brilliance, Access Hollywood Live booked both Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell for separate interviews that ran consecutively on the show. Simon complains about the new Idol, Paula, and makes a Ryan Seacrest gay joke.

...all of this is happening while Paula is watching from backstage. Here's highlights from his interview where he gave Billy Bush and Kit Hoover the hardest time in an interview by shooting down their questions and suggestions.

Next up: Simon's gay joke about Ryan Seacrest's relationship with Julianne Hough.


Sure, we're all thinking it—but Simon actually said it. Bravo.


Paula began her interview by suggesting that she texts Simon things like "hi jerk, how are you" which apparently "arouses him." When asked about Simon's new fianceé, Paula replied by saying "I'm sure she's going to the therapist—mmm... there's seven days in a week—14 times per week."


Finally, the music cut Paula off while describing her passion for dance. Instead of handling it well, she stands up and tap dances with Billy, proving everyone that thinks she's a drug-addicted crazy person ...wrong?